VIII loves XIII
by X-Sparker
Summary: Series of AkuRoku one-shots, contains lemons. Latest entry: Memories of Winter - Were every storm so spice/The value could not be/We buy with contrast - Pang is good/As near as memory - --Emily Dickinson
1. Flight

**Flight**

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own any of the Kingdom Hearts I & II rights.

Warning: Yaoi, shonen-ai, AkuRoku, SoraRiku below.

Warning: CONTAINS 18+ MATURE CONTENT! STOP HERE AND TURN AROUND, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE!

Summary: Axel was in love with Roxas but Roxas wasn't (and he didn't know). Now they're going to visit Namine who is Roxas' girlfriend and well...Axel is heart broken. Will Roxas notice his friend's weird actions and secret feelings?

* * *

The check-in line was a loooong one.

"You sure you've got everything?" Sora grinned at his friend Roxas. Standing next to the brunette was his boyfriend, Riku. The couple wasn't in the check-in line, though. They were standing out of the line; only Roxas and a friend were checking-in.  
"Um… Yea I think so." Roxas double-checked his cross bag, making sure that his passport and boarding pass were in it.  
"What about you, Axel?" Sora reminded Roxas' friend.  
"Huh?" The absent-minded redhead pulled back from his thoughts; he looked at the frowning Sora, the smirking Riku standing next to him, and then at Roxas who was standing next to himself.  
"Gee, Axel. You really need to stop daydreaming and listen to others." Sora complained.  
"Axel, did you miss anything?" Roxas asked for the brunette kindly. Axel smiled plainly and held up his documents, assuring the rest of the party.  
A lady behind one of the counters motioned Roxas and Axel to go forth. The blonde boy turned around to Sora, "Well, I'll see ya!"  
Sora gave his friend a friendly hug, "Take care. And say hello to Naminé for me!" Roxas nodded before turning around to join Axel for checking in the luggage.

- On the airplane -

The plane was still waiting to take off. Roxas sat silently in his isle seat, reading a book. Axel was staring blankly through the window, his mind deep in thoughts again.

"Hey Roxas…" The redhead started but hesitated before even asking the question.  
"Yeah?" Roxas asked without moving his gaze from the book.  
"… Never mind." Axel's tone filled with depression.  
The blonde boy looked up at his friend, "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." Axel managed to fake a smile, returning his eyes at the window; raindrops darted hastily on it. The sky was gloomy like Axel's mood.  
The engine roared, swallowing the faint voice of the redhead when he whispered to the rains.

"Everything."

The airplane vibrated as it soared into the sky, starting the journey to see Roxas' girlfriend, Naminé.

He wondered why; why he loves this blonde so much. So much to the point where he won't stop loving him even if he knew Roxas will never love him back. It's been what…? Two years by now? The blonde has his heart cruelly captured from the first time he saw him. The poor guy has been fighting it all along, like an addiction. But no matter how many times his heart gets broken into a million billion trillion pieces; it heals itself bits by bits every time the emerald eyes locked on cerulean ones. And most of all, he wondered why the blonde would be brutal enough to drag him along on the trip to see his girlfriend?

The mention of the girl in Axel's mind was painful enough to cause a suffocating ache on the redhead's chest. He gripped tightly at his shirt, turning to look at Roxas who had decided sleeping over reading, crouching under a blanket comfortably. The ache eased at the sight of the blonde boy's sleep for some reason, and Axel moved his hand to interlace his fingers through the stresses of golden locks, his other hand caressing Roxas' cheek so lightly that the boy wasn't disturbed.

A distinct drop of tear rimmed Axel's eye and dripped off unexpectedly, landing on the blonde's soft cheek, awaking the boy. Axel drew back quickly; but not quick enough to make the blonde think that nothing has happened. Roxas fluttered his eyes open and wiped the warm liquid off his face with his fingertip, placing it into his mouth only to find its salty flavor along with the sad emotions, "Axel… Are you crying?"  
The redhead shook his head intensely and unbuckled himself. "I'm fine." He mumbled as he left his seat and Roxas, rushing down the isle towards the lavatory. Tears flowed out uncontrollably as he did so. Roxas turned around hastily with confusion, staring at Axel's back image as the redhead entered the lavatory and locked himself up.

He has flopped the top cover of the toilet down and sat on it; his arms wrapping around his knees as his head buried between them. His body trembled as he sobbed hysterically. He couldn't control the overwhelming feelings while they poured out through the salty fluid. He wanted to cut himself, but couldn't since he didn't have any sharp objects with him or else he would've been arrested during the security items monitoring. Desperate knocks pounded on the door.

"Axel! What's wrong?" The familiar voice came through.

"I'm fine!" His shaking voice denied the question.

"No you're not! You're crying in the lavatory on an airplane! Open up!"

"Sir, is everything alright here?" A female voice inquired.

"I… My friend's not feeling well and he locked himself up inside. Could you possibly op-" Roxas was interrupted when the door of the lavatory suddenly opened. Axel's arm was long enough to let him reach the lock with one arm without moving any other part of his body an inch; his head still buried between his knees.

"Sir, can I be of any help?" The flight attendant asked into the bathroom, applying the question to both men.

"It's ok I'll take it from here." Roxas smiled at the girl. She looked at him doubtfully at first, but nodded and returned to her business. Roxas entered the lavatory and locked the door behind him.

"Hey Axel, just tell me, is something wrong?" Roxas asked concernedly with a kind tone, he placed his hands on Axel's arms. Axel shuddered at the touch, but it wasn't noticeable since his entire body was already trembling; he looked up to show the blonde his swollen and puffed up eyes, "Why…Why _-gulp-_… do you have to… take m-me to see your g-girlfriend?" Soreness grew in Roxas' eyes and nose when he saw Axel's tear-driven face. Without a warning, he pressed his pink lips on Axel's, causing the redhead to widen his eyes.

"Because I needed to talk to her." Roxas said softly after he pulled away, "Because I needed to break up with her so that I can ask _you_ out." Axel swears to God that his heart melted away at those words. Roxas leaned in to kiss Axel again, pushing him slightly on his shoulder so Axel would lean on his back flat on the toilet top cover. Their tongues had a good time enjoying each other before the blonde attacked the redhead's neck, nibbling up and down along it, finally finding a spot that produces most purrs from Axel. Axel tried not to be so loud; they're in a public area after all. His hands wandered around Roxas' chest until they finally crept under the shirt, pushing it out of the blonde and throwing it off somewhere. Roxas continued down until he met Axel's shirt, grunted at it and towed it away, revealing Axel's skinny torso. Roxas immediately explored around the new ground, licking a nipple till it reddened and hardened while his finger did the same to the other one. Axel suddenly arched up to ground his hips on Roxas', sending stings of thrill up both their spines. The blonde continued to decent with butterfly kisses and licks; finally meeting the ultimate roadblock of happiness: Axel's pants.

Roxas grumbled at how many belts and little accessories were standing in his way. Axel laughed and guided the blonde's hand through the fastenings. Roxas was getting anxious and tugged Axel's pants off along with his underpants, exposing the hard-on erection. Axel gasped lightly as Roxas pried open his legs and ran a finger along the sensitive inner thigh. Then the blonde promptly kissed the bottom of Axel's testicles. "Ohgawd" Circuits of ecstasy wrapped around Axel's spine as he gripped the steel bar installed on the lavatory wall for support with one hand; the other hand grasping the edge of the counter sink harshly. Roxas smirked and ran his tongue up Axel's shaft utterly slow, teasing the redhead while sampling his unique taste. Axel whimpered and threw his hips madly around, nearly hitting Roxas' at the ears with his knees, but the blonde held his legs down back at the prying state. Roxas teased enough when his tongue reached the tip of Axel's erection and wrapped his lips around it before letting in all of the redhead's manhood. Axel gave a small cry and tossed his head back, hands clenching onto whatever they were holding fiercely. Roxas took in Axel fully time and time again, brushing the tip with his tongue occasionally. Axel couldn't help but slightly thrust into Roxas' mouth instinctively; he wondered how the blonde knew how to give a blowjob this well. But thoughts slipped his mind like sand slipping in between fingers and his breaths grew inconsistent as Roxas continuingly massaged his tongue against his shaft. "R-R-R-R-Ro…. xas…" He managed to whisper in between his heavy gasps. The blonde only replied by brushing his teeth against Axel's tip lightly. The redhead nearly cried out when he came; Roxas tasted every bit of Axel's seed before swallowing half of it, a few drops remaining. The blonde climbed back up to meet the redhead's exhausted eyes while resting his body on top of Axel's. When Axel slowly regained conscience, he gazed into Roxas' azure eyes and smiled, "I love you." Roxas smiled and kissed Axel, letting the redhead taste his own seed. "Hmm?" The redhead hummed a question at the taste; the blonde pulled away and grinned, "I love you too." Axel's smile grew, but didn't ease his question, "What was that in your-" He stopped abruptly when he thought about it more. Roxas laughed sheepishly; the redhead wrapped his arms around Roxas and switched their position; their hips rolled against each other's unintentionally in the process, generating moans from both of them.

Axel nibbled around Roxas' chest, brushing his tongue on the hardened nipples occasionally. The blonde gasped when Axel cupped his bulge intentionally, teasing him. "Axellll…" The blonde purred. The redhead smiled and descended to remove Roxas' pants. The blonde held onto the steel bar when Axel licked a finger and ran it up Roxas' shaft; then separated the blonde's legs and brought up his knees. Roxas bit his bottom lip down to prevent making loud sounds when Axel entered the finger into his entrance behind. The redhead climbed up to plant a comforting kiss on Roxas' tiny belly button; and pulled out to enter two fingers back in. Roxas quivered at the unwelcoming pain, but endured it. Axel's other hand rubbed small circles on Roxas' hips when the two fingers inside the blonde scissor around, exploring and searching for a spot. Then he brushed against an area that stiffened Roxas' body as the blonde threw his head back in pleasure. "Yessssss…" He purred with the voice that begged Axel to do it again. Axel grinned and pressed at the spot again, the blonde gripped the steel bar tighter and moaned. Pre-cum started flowing out from Roxas' sensitive tip as Axel massaged freely around and at the sweet spot. The redhead suddenly pulled out; and Roxas felt a new solid pressure on his entrance. He gulped down hard before Axel thrust into him delicately; the blonde clenched his teeth from the abrasion and wrapped his legs around Axel's waist. The redhead massaged Roxas' body to calm him down, then enclosed his slender fingers around Roxas' pre-cum coated rigid cock and began to stroke it. Roxas moaned quietly in the double pleasure from the stroke and the hitting on the sweet spot inside as Axel plunged into him with a steady rhythm.

Axel picked up his speed as he felt the climax arriving; Roxas straightened his legs in midair like a V-shape, nearly hitting the mirror and the wall in the narrow space. The blonde squeezed tightly at the steel bar and counter sink as cum ejaculated from his tip before the redhead did the same inside him; the warm fluid flowed and reduced the friction as Axel pulled out. They've made a mess.

Breathing heavily, Axel slumped his body onto Roxas'. Sweat dripped off both of their foreheads as they struggled to regain consciousness. Angry knocks hammered on the door, causing the two men to nearly jump.

"HEY! WHO'S IN THERE? YOU'RE TAKING FOREVER!" A fuming male's voice yelled.

The two in the lavatory giggled rapidly. Axel stood up and grabbed a bunch of toilet paper, wiping the sticky fluid off Roxas' stomach and butt hole, cleaning the mess up. Then he dressed himself and looked at Roxas who was still lying on the toilet, "Roxie? Get up, they're pissed off." He joked. Roxas laughed but remained, "Do you think I can still walk?" Axel gave an expression to show that he just realized, then he picked up Roxas' clothes and handed them to him, "At least dress yourself."  
Roxas obliged but did nothing else, Axel cleaned up the final little things. Then he placed his arms under Roxas to scoop him up, holding him bridal style.  
"Open the door." Axel ordered since he hasn't got a free hand. Roxas obeyed and raised an arm to open the door, only to find that they've created a long line down to the isle. An enraged blonde scarred face was at the head of the line, he stared at the couple, completely puzzled. Axel and Roxas giggled through glances and stares back to their seat.


	2. Gangster

**Gangster**

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own any of the Kingdom Hearts I & II rights.

Warning: Yaoi, AkuRoku, language below.

Warning: CONTAINS 18+ MATURE CONTENT! STOP HERE AND TURN AROUND, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE!

A/N: another akuroku lemon one-shot. enjoy.

* * *

Who's the man? He is.

Who's the boss? He is.

He is great, strong and above all, handsome. But he is not old, in fact, he's only twenty. To be the boss of this gang – no, Organization XIII at the age of 20, he is indeed, quite tough. He is Axel.

* * *

"What are you mumbling about, you idiot?" The scary red-mane man bellowed at a timid blonde whose head was hanging as low as it could. The redhead lifted his legs and thumped them on the fragile-looking tea table, then held up a cigarette into his mouth. The intimidated blonde quickly flicked out a lighter, and served the redhead.

"I-I… I lost something last night… When we were at the -" The poor blonde started murmuring.

"THEN GO GET IT BACK YOURSELF!" The redhead hollered at the blonde again, only to make the poor guy stood back more. Another man standing beside, more experienced, stood up and cleared his throat, "Sir, that place pay no respect to our members, especially to Demyx; it is critical that you lead us there in order to retrieve anything. Only you have earned their respect."

Axel rolled his eyes. Axel is a very frightening leader and sometimes sounds inconsiderate about his fellow members, but when things get critical, he will stand up for his buddies who have been fighting for him. "Alright, alright!" He stomped up, "I'll go get it for the sake of Xaldin this time; next time you lose your thing again, you crawl and beg and do whatever you need for them, I'm not gonna scoop up your shit for you everytime." He poked hardly on Demyx, who is finally easing down from the intimidation he just experienced.

Axel walked beyond them, bringing the group forth towards the door, and headed for the bar Demyx mentioned.

"Axel, sir!" A few bartenders saluted as the redhead entered the pub.

"Yo there." Axel tipped his head to them, acting coolly. "Where's your boss?"

"He is right at the Grand Suite." One of them replied.

Axel nodded, and walked broadly across.

The suite is at the very inside of the bar, with French windows all around; a perfect view of the pub can be seen from this room.

"Look who we've got here." A scarred face said, with a slight bitter tone of sarcasm.

"Seifer, how are you?" Axel asked, his voice a faint tint of anger.

The two men shook hands, and Axel sat himself in the sofa across from Seifer and the two women cuddling beside him; they look hideous.

"So what brings you here?" Seifer asked, with a smugly grin on his face.

Axel tried not to laugh, "One of my boys left something here yesterday. You know what it is; now return it."

"Whoa, now. Don't you think you gotta do something before you ask? I mean, he was the one responsible for losing it here, _in my domain_; you think you can just take it back like this?" Seifer chuckled, the women followed.

Axel restrained from punching the man, "Now, now. You know what I'm famous for. You don't want to scare your customers away." He said as he tipped his head towards the French window through which you can see the entire bar and the front door. Just as he finished his sentence he noticed a cute innocent blonde boy of around eighteen coming into the pub with his friends. The blonde boy caught his glimpse before blushing and turning away. Axel resumed the conversation.

Seifer looked defeated, his features almost distorted, "Fine." He raised his arm and waved his finger to summon a servant. The servant was holding a heavy-looking cardboard box.

Demyx's eyes brightened as he recovered the box. Axel stood to leave, before he did so Seifer gave one last warning, "I'll remember this, Axel. You'll get it." Axel only ignored him and walked away.

"You guys go ahead; I'll dwell around here for a bit longer." Axel stopped his pace when the group headed for the front door to exit. All the members turned around with confused looks.

"But… Seifer really doesn't like you…" Demyx said with an innocent voice.

Xaldin looked around and saw the cute blonde boy that Axel stared at earlier, "It's ok, Demyx. We'll go first. Take care, sir." And bowed, holding an arm out to turn Demyx around and leave.

Axel watched his friends leave, and sat at the stool next to the blonde boy who was now chatting happily with his friends.

"Hey." Axel whispered shyly. The boy turned away from the conversation, "Oh hi." He greeted back, smiling nicely.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Axel asked. The blonde blushed the faintest tint of rose; it wasn't even noticeable under the dim light of the bar, "Um… Sure, I'd like Sugar Strawberry Paradise."

Axel smiled at the choice, "Strawberry, eh?" The boy's blush is a subtle shade of scarlet now, impeccably noticeable. Axel tipped his head at the bartender, who has overheard the order and nodded.

"I'm Axel." He finally introduced himself to the boy. The boy smiled, "Hi Axel, I'm Roxas."

This boy, Roxas, is immaculately attractive for sure, since Axel's eyes could never stay away from him for more than half a minute. There was no one before that ever made Axel act so gentle. They chatted casually for about half an hour, Roxas completely forgetting about his friends.

"Hey Roxas, who's this?" A girl popped her head behind Roxas, looking at Axel. She has long blonde hair like Roxas' and is tied and braided into a bunch on top of her head by a wide cobalt head band. She has remarkable green eyes like Axel's but strangely, her pupils are spirals.

"Oh! Rikku, this is Axel; Axel, this is my friend Rikku." Roxas introduced them hurriedly. Rikku smiled at Axel innocently, "Hi there!" and returned to her conversations with other friends.

"You certainly have cute friends." Axel grinned at Roxas, who chuckled back at him. "How about we get out of this place and roam around somewhere else?"

Roxas thought for a second, then nodded with a big innocent smile. He turned around, "Hey guys, I'm gonna go now, okay? Don't stay up too late or you'll be late for the concert tomorrow."

His friends were under the influence of alcohol (much like himself and Axel) and didn't respond much except mere goodbyes.

* * *

They strolled around the streets, but suddenly beads of aqua started falling from the sky.

"Oh … Haha!" Roxas started laughing as he ran for cover, but nature races faster than them and soaked them beforehand. They arrived at the lobby of Axel's apartment building by chance.

"Hey, this is where I live! What a coincidence!" Axel looked up at the building and laughed to himself, "Wanna get dried?" He looked back down at Roxas, whose blonde locks are wet and dripping. Extremely seducing, Axel thought.

"Okay! I don't want to catch a cold." Roxas giggled, without noticing the older man's thoughts.

"Here you go." Axel said as he sat behind Roxas and rubbed a fluffy white towel against his soft strands of hair. Roxas snuggled and raised his hands to take over the control of the towel. Incidentally his hand touched Axel's, making both of them to gasp. Roxas slowly turned around, gazing deeply into Axel's spring green eyes. Axel reddened, and turned away shyly. After a long pause, Roxas finally asked, "Axel… Do you like guys?"

Axel looked up, shocked. Roxas leisurely leaned in, his pink lips absolutely tempting.

"I do," replied Axel, "And I like you… a lot." and closed his eyes, giving the young boy a fervent kiss.

"Mmmm…. You are so gorgeous." Axel said as he pulled away from Roxas, staring into his azure eyes. The two were lying on a comfortable bed right now. Roxas sniggered. Axel promptly kissed Roxas' forehead, lips, cheeks and neck.

"Hm…. Axel…."

Axel leaned on Roxas, and kissed along his neck and shoulder, occasionally nibbling the area between them. Roxas moaned, he grasped the bed sheets tightly, "I've never done this before…"

Axel chuckled, "That's so cute," and tugged off Roxas' shirt. Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck as the older man moved down to place kisses down to his tiny belly button. Soon Axel pulled off his shirt, revealing his slender torso.

"Have you done this before?" Roxas asked with his angelic naïve voice.

"No. I've hugged women before. But that was awful."

Roxas laughed, but gasped when Axel undid his fastenings. His breathing became erratic as Axel towed his boxers away. The redhead started stroking Roxas lightly, producing whimpers from the boy, "Ha….. Ax-el…." Axel giggled, and stopped his hands.

Roxas looked down in anxiety, "No… Please…" He begged with lust in his eyes. Axel smirked, held out his tongue only to lick the tip of Roxas' erection gently.

"Ah…."

Axel engulfed Roxas' cock into his mouth, sucking it delicately. Roxas was practically experiencing euphoria, "Ohh… Axel!" The red-mane man withdrew just in time before Roxas ejaculated. "Whoa! Haha… That was close… Or I was gonna eat all your stuff and then I can't kiss you anymore." Axel joked. Roxas was too frenzied to respond, he was breathing for air greedily.

When Roxas calmed down, he looked at Axel and smiled. Axel leaned closely on Roxas to give a gentle kiss, but Roxas discovered Axel's bulk.

"What about you, Axel…?" Roxas asked, his hand slightly caressing Axel's bulge.

"… Do you want to… try _that_?" Axel asked curiously, ensuring that he gets permission before he does anything. Roxas hesitated, then nodded, "I want to be fair."

Axel blinked his eyes as approval, and quietly took off his pants and boxers. Roxas helped himself up and bear-hugged Axel, then looked at him with a trace of desire in his turquoise eyes; Axel smiled. The blonde carefully slid down, taking in all of Axel.

"Ahhh….." Axel started thrusting into Roxas. The boy hugged the man, digging his nails into his back; but Axel didn't care, all that matters now is Roxas. Axel went faster.

"Yeah…. Axel" Roxas was breathing inconsistently.

"Hm…. Roxas!" Axel yelled in pleasure as he burst into Roxas.

The two of them lied on the bed, exhausted. And they quickly fell into deep sleep.

* * *

A cell phone was ringing.

"Arrr….." Axel was disturbed from his sweet dreams; he angled his elbow to support himself, and grabbed his cell phone which was resting on the cupboard next to the bed.

"Yar?" He groaned.

"Sir, it's time you come to our organization meeting."

Xaldin, Axel thought, "Alright, I'm coming," and hung up.

Axel dressed himself quietly, and wrote a note for the little angel who was still sleeping in his bed.

"Goodbye now, honey." He whispered and kissed Roxas' forehead; then left the apartment.


	3. Another life

**Another life**

DISCLAIMER

I do NOT own any of the KH I & II rights.

Warning: Shonen-ai, AkuRoku, Sora x Riku, boys kissing and hugs below

A/N: This one doesn't contain lemon. Just a fluffy short story. And very random.

Summary: Roxas works at Wakka's ice cream store for the summer and get to meet a handsome redhead, wait...what is that strange familiar feeling?

* * *

It was a hot summer day by the beach.

Geez, thought Roxas, what is WRONG with the sun?

He was sitting at the edge of the ice cream truck compartment, enjoying his delicious summer snack sea-salt ice cream.

A firm knock tapped the window at the middle of the truck. Roxas scurried to the window, saying, "I'm sorry but we're…" He hesitated at the sight of a handsome man a few years senior of him, "…closed."

The man looked disappointed and whined, "Aw, man. Thought I'd catch one last Popsicle before the store close down and leave me to fry in the sun."

Who is this man? He's so… refined, Roxas thought; then his other self yelled at him, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? THAT'S A MAN! A GUY! DUDE!

Nonetheless Roxas tried to cheer the redhead up, "But I guess we can take an exception, for the sake of the hotness…" The emerald eyes lit up. "The hotness of the weather, I mean." Roxas saved his embarrassment with wit.

"YAY! You're the best!" The redhead was now jumping up and down while Roxas turned around to snatch a package, opened it and handed it to the man.

Meanwhile, Wakka returned. "Eh?" He murmured, "Axel? Is that you?" The redhead turned around to find his old-time friend, "Hey! Wakka! Long time no see! What are you doing here?" Wakka laughed, "That should be what I ask you! I'm the boss of this ice cream truck-store. What about you?"

Grrreattt… Roxas thought, now they're gonna start a long conversation of picking up from the past… And he certainly didn't want to stand awkwardly there behind the window watching them talk, so he returned sitting at the edge of the truck. This caught Wakka's attention.

"Oh! Forgot to introduce you to this kid," he said to Axel, bringing him forth towards Roxas, "this is Roxas; he's my niece's son and he's working at my store for the summer as a small summer job. Roxas, this is Axel, an old friend of mine."

The older man and the boy shook hands, showing friendly approach. "So Axel, do you mind telling me what you are doing here?" Roxas asked boldly. Axel took a bite at his ice cream, replied, "I'm here for vacation." Roxas replied casually with an "Oh".

An awkward silence followed. Wakka broke through, "Uh well, I'm gonna put this stuff into the storage. I'll be right back, you guys talk among yourselves," and walked towards his house's direction.

"So… How's life going with Wakka and this store?" Axel asked, sitting beside Roxas which for some reason made Roxas feel queasy in the stomach.

"It's cool. I get to hang around here and get tanned…" Roxas replied nervously, the butterflies fighting more and more violently in his stomach. What am I saying? He slapped himself in his mind; I'm such an idiot… And what the hell is that weird feeling in my stomach?

Axel laughed softly. Roxas glanced at his smiling sunlit face and blushed for Axel was unintentionally making Roxas fall in love with him.

"Roxas…? Are you okay? You're really red… Are you getting sunstroke?" Axel asked concernedly with his dignified bright green eyes. Roxas couldn't stand the pain in his guts, "I'll be right back…" and ran to the closest bathroom.

After a long while he returned to the truck, only to find Axel missing. He looked around but there wasn't anyone. He sat again on the truck, pouting to himself, I'm so stupid! Now he's gone thinking that I'm an idiot…

But suddenly, someone behind poked him in the ribs, earning laughter. Roxas turned around and saw Axel's naughty grin on his face.

"Haha! I got ya!" Axel giggled loudly. Roxas smirked back, and glared, "You shall pay for this!" Instinctively he pulled Axel by the wrist and dragged him all the way to the ocean, splashing water on him and got him completely soaked. They splattered water on each other and played, both laughing innocently and playfully.

Wakka came by and saw them. He sighed, "That kid just can't stay seated," and re-opened his store, waiting for customers.

Roxas was running away from Axel, trying to stay out of reach. Unexpectedly, he stepped into nothingness (it was a hole) and fell into the water. Axel didn't respond fast enough and tripped over Roxas' ankle, landing next to him.

They struggled and managed to sit up, both chuckling uncontrollably. "Look at you!" Axel snuggled, "you're all wet and drenched!"

"So are you!" Roxas giggled, smiling so hard that his eye lids were closed. Without a notice, warm lips met his own. Roxas shot his eyes open to find Axel kissing him passionately, but he didn't resist – in fact, he had wanted it since the first eye he saw Axel. It was as if they've met a long time before and knew each other very well; they only spent about ten minutes together before they were playing closely in the water!

Roxas closed his eyes, receiving the kiss. After a moment they parted their lips, Axel looked into Roxas' cerulean eyes, causing him to redden and hugged the redhead, burying his face in the older man's chest…

"The sky is so beautiful…" Axel expressed randomly. Roxas sniggered, "It sure is."


	4. Movie

**Movie**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own KH; nor the movie _I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry_. Want to see it, though.

Warning: shonen-ai, Akuroku, boy x boy below.

A/N: Happy AkuRoku Day, people!! Yup, it's August 13th, and we're up to some celebration! This is a one-shot, too bad no lemons, it'll take too long for me to write it... lol anywayz it's just a cute fluffy random one-shot, enjoy!

* * *

_'Diiiiiiiiiiiii...'_

"..."

_'Diiiiiiiiiiiii...'_

"...Ow shut up!" A voice cursed, thinking that the phone will actually quiet down just by willing it to.

_'Diiiiiiiiiiiii...'_

"...UGH!!" The redhead grunted loudly as he swung his legs down from the bed and flopping himself up to grab the noisy phone.

"Whoever this is you better have a good reason for waking me." He growled.

"...Um, Axel?" A soft, cute voice echoed; Axel who was rubbing the crook of his nose tiredly had suddenly jumped, then a lop-sided smirk has quickly grew.

"Hey Roxy. What's up?"

"Um, hi. Yeah... I was thinking...that maybe.. y'know, like...uh...well..."

"Just spit it out."

"I-I was thinking... since it's Sunday and it's summer and all, m-maybe you would want to catch a movie or sumttin'?" The boy literally breathed the last few words. Axel's mischievous grin grew wider, "Yeah, sure. When and where?"

"U-Um, what about two PM at the fountain of the theatre near the science building of our campus? I'll have the tickets."

"Sure, see you later." Axel replied coolly before hanging up and starting to get changed. The dorm room was only big enough for him to rotate and twist around, being a government-funded college one and all. Axel was still smirking; so Roxas has finally asked him out. It's about time he does; Axel has been hitting on him for the past four months or so. Either Roxas was an annoyingly good tease, or he was just too innocent and oblivious to notice, though it seemed more like the latter judging on the way Roxas stammers all the time and blinks so innocently.

Poking his head out of the hole of his shirt, Axel grabbed some hairspray and fixed his beloved fiery locks before lining his eyes sharp and refined (Yeah, he thinks he looks sexier that way. Well, he does.), grabbed his keys and exited the dorm. The movie starts at two and it's still one (hell he sleeps late), so he decided to grab some lunch first...

...And that took half an hour. Now he only need to walk over to the cinema and the timing will be just perfect. Walking across a park, Axel has noticed that there were a lot that he'd miss normally. The children running around the bushes and the fountain, the people smiling and chatting, the sparrows chirping peacefully and the couples embracing each other lovingly. Axel chuckled to himself; he had wanted to be like that with Roxas for a long while, 'cept that he might as well put a tarantula on Roxas' head;

Scare the hell out of him.

So without much delay, he strode broadly across the crosswalk and approached the theatre. A familiar blonde figure was sitting alone at the edge of the fountain.

"Lookin' for someone?"

The redhead's voice startled the seemingly in-deep-thoughts blond. "Axel!" He smiled and jumped up, handing said redhead a neat piece of paper, "I thought you weren't coming."

"Why? I said I'd come." Axel grinned before eyeing the ticket; there was a big 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry' printed there, next to the date August 13th. "A comedy, eh?"

"Y-Yeah..." Roxas giggled, "Is it okay for you?"

"Never better." Axel smiled and placed an arm over Roxas' shoulder, motioning him into the building.

----

The moive was funny. Roxas gets touched in all ways so easily; Axel thought it was cute. He wondered if Roxas chose this movie on purpose, for it mentioned gay marriage and all. After all, Axel really liked Roxas. Maybe it's still too early to talk about _marriage_, but to think of it all...

"Axel?" Roxas asked again, blinking his heavily dilated cerulean eyes.

"Huh?" Axel snapped out of thoughts, "What?"

"What were you thinking about?" Roxas inquired as they walked out of the dark movie house.

"Heh... Nothing." Axel smiled sheepishly and ran his slender fingers through his spiky hair.

"You know... I was thinking...what if it was us?" Roxas suddenly blurted, a blush crossing his cheeks, "I mean... Like if we had to live together like that and all..."

"I'm sure we can do much better than they did." Axel grinned, letting his hand fall to his side and intentionally rub it a little against Roxas' hand, "Because then we actually love each other."

"W-What?!" Roxas looked away shyly, his blush increased tenfolds.

"Roxas." Axel said suddenly with a stern voice and grabbed both Roxas' hands with his own, "I've been giving you hints all these time and don't tell me you didn't feel them. I liked you for so long, ever since you transferred into our class!" He stared straight into Roxas' glowing blue eyes, the reflection of the bright fountain water dancing in both their irises.

"Axel...I-I..." Roxas stuttered and looked away, "I guess... I guess I like you too...a little."

An awkward silence followed. Axel was too busy being ecstatic at the blond's confession and Roxas was too caught up with embarrassment and blushing. They stayed like that for a while, holding hands and being quiet until Axel's gaze locked with Roxas' once again. It was then that Axel started moving his face closer and closer to Roxas', their nose fitting just right in place so that their lips are less than an inch apart... they can _feel_ each other's warm breath until Axel decided to be more initiative and pushed in, crashing their lips together...


	5. I miss you

**I miss you**

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or any rights reserved by Square Enix and Disney. I do, however, own this little piece of fanfic that I wrote.

Warning: shonen-ai, boy x boy relationship, AkuRoku below.

Summary: Okay, so they promised to meet again in the next life, now what? Roxas can't even remember Axel!

* * *

"_No one would miss me."_

"_That's not true! …__**I would.**__"_

* * *

"I would!" Axel waved his friends goodbye and turned to leave. The sorrowful smile that hanged on his face hid all kinds of bitterness that no one can understand. "I would…" He repeated, pain lurking under those words, the same exact words he said to the one and only one that he ever loved… even in this life.

Tears were on the brink of his eyes as soon as flashes of _him_ flickered before his eyes. He sniffed, hurriedly wiping the warm tears away before anyone thought he was crazy. Pulling his sweater's hood over his wild branch of red hair, he boarded the fat public bus and sat next to a window. It started raining halfway through the trip, reminding him of the night _he_ left. Axel sighed, his warm breath fogging against the icy window. Emptiness filled the poor teen's heart as he cuddled tighter to himself, emptiness that resulted from the years of inability to find _him_ in this world.

Noises saturated throughout the bus as more people boarded to evade the rain. A person landed clumsily next to Axel. The redhead lazily clutched his bag closer to himself to prevent the person from soaking it; eyes remaining glued to the flying view outside.

Another stop and a few more people boarded, the bus was actually started to feel heavy. A constant knock on the floor amplified as an old lady with a cane tried to get through. No one cared for her; no one except the person sitting next to Axel.

"Ma'am, please take my seat." The voice sounded like a young man; a _very familiar_ young man.

"Oh, thank you, young boy." The lady chuckled and lumbered into the seat next to Axel. The fuss dragged emerald eyes from the window to the old lady and the hand helping her. Subsequently Axel looked up to the young man.

Now that he had a heart, it stopped.

Effulgent cerulean eyes caught Axel's astonished gaze and the young man proffered a kind smile. Axel's breath hitched, "Roxas…"

Now the eyes blinked with the slightest confusion, "Do I know you?"

Axel nearly scrambled out of his seat. He pardoned himself from the lady and managed to stand next to the handsome boy. "Roxas, it's me, Axel!"

"I-I'm sorry, but I don't think I know anyone by the name of Axel." Roxas' neat blond brows knitted together with perplexity and unhelpfulness.

Axel's heart dropped. The fragile hope shattered into fragments as he stood numbly, "How is that possible…"

"I'm sorry." Roxas mumbled again, hanging his head lower in faultiness.

"You really don't remember anything? Not even one? What about Organization XIII? The keyblade? Nobodies? Does that ring a bell?"

The questions only got one answer: a confused Roxas. He stood there staring into this stranger, who he does not know but had somehow obtained his name. "No… Stop saying these weird things, you're scaring me!"

It was then Axel realized he was grabbing Roxas' wrists. He hastily retreated his hands, "Sorry…" He murmured and let the hood of his sweater fall lower, hovering shadow to cover the tears that threatened to fall out. The bus skidded to a stop and the doors slid open. People started exiting the bus; shoulders pushing against Axel's. The redhead mindlessly followed the crowd, not bothering to stay.

But a hand grabbed him backwards just before he was run over by another bus. His hood fell backwards, revealing the disheveled vermillion spikes. Something tingled in Roxas' mind, but it slipped before he could catch it. Axel looked back, skeptical as he realized Roxas just saved his life.

"Watch where you're going!" The blond scolded, tone so unexpectedly worried that Roxas thought he did this before.

"Heh… Sorry." Axel embarrassedly rubbed his hair, which was starting to soak, "Aww man, I hate the rain." He sighed to the gray sky.

Roxas stared at a water bead dripping down Axel's neck and disappearing into the black sweater, "Why?"

"Because I'm the Flurry of Dancin-" Axel cut himself off, "Never mind."

"Dancing…?" Roxas tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Nah, forget it." Axel waved and stood at the edge of the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change.

_Dancing… man? No, how does that relate to the rain? _Roxas brainstormed the possible endings for the clause as if it was a riddle,_dancing…lightning? No, that doesn't sound right… Dancing… ice? Nah… Dancing…_

'_I'm number VIII, Flurry of Dancing Flames.'_

"Dancing Flames?" Roxas echoed to his thoughts. Axel instinctively turned to the caller of his name, and quickly his jaw dropped.

"You remember me now?"

"What?" Roxas stared at the redhead, "No."

"But you just said…"

"Number eight, Flurry of Dancing Flames?" Roxas reasserted, "It just came off from the top of my head."

"Oh…" Axel sighed, _but…maybe that means he still remembers something…_

"What does it mean? I don't know where it came from; I mean, there was just this memory that didn't belong to me." Roxas reasoned, "It said, 'I'm number VIII, Flurry of Dancing Flames.'"

Axel chuckled,_ that's me…_ "It's… a long story."

"Well tell me!" Roxas requested gleefully, walking up with this new stranger.

"Okay. So once upon a time, there was this…kingdom. Called Kingdom Hearts. And Kingdom Hearts was infested with some black little creatures called the Heartless. The Heartless go around towns attacking people, corrupting their hearts thus making them Heartless too. And when a person turns into a Heartless, their bodies are left behind without a heart. Those bodies are called Nobodies. So there was this Nobody, he joined a gang of other strong Nobodies. The gang eventually grew bigger and more members joined." Axel took a breath, continuing walking towards his apartment with Roxas listening intensely, "One day, this little young Nobody joined the gang. The older one really liked him, so they always hung out together, and they soon became best friends. But the older Nobody didn't just want to be friends with the kid; he loved the boy. Eventually he confessed and turned out the boy loved him too. Everything was all good until one day the boy said he had to leave the gang for answers. The old Nobody tried stopping him, but the boy left anyways. Later when the two reunited, the younger one can no longer remember the older Nobody, and he was devastated. The older one kept trying to take the younger boy back to his side, but in the end he died in a battle, and the younger boy merged back with his Heartless to return to a normal person." As he finished he arrived at the staircase that led to the lobby of his apartment building, "And that's the tragic end of the story."

"Axel… I-Is the younger Nobody… me?" Roxas took a hold of Axel's hand and whispered, guilt heavily coated in his voice, "I…I really wanted to remember… I just… can't."

"Leave it." Axel turned to look at the blond boy with a bitter smile on his face, "Maybe, you just weren't meant to remember." He retrieved his hand as he approached the door, "Maybe, I'll see you again in the next life."

'_Let's meet again in the next life.'_  
'_Yeah, I'll be waiting.'_

"I'll be waiting for you!" Roxas yelled before the door creaked shut.

* * *

A week passed since he reunited with Roxas, and Axel found himself on the bus alone, again. He heaved another sigh, staring idly out to the window, not really paying attention to anything.

That is, until a person slumped to the seat next to him. Axel nearly yelled his heart out.

"Roxas…?"

"Hi!" The blond grinned, "How's it going?"

"Alright I guess…" Axel replied slowly, "W-Why are you here?"

"Remember? I said I would be waiting!" Roxas grinned again; a grin that was too cheerful to be called Roxas' grin. This… _person_ that was sitting next to him was nothing like the Roxas Axel loves.

"Okay…" Axel slumped back and looked out to the window again, "Well… what are you waiting for?"

"For you!"

"Well, I'm here now; what do you want?"

"…" Roxas opened his mouth, but made no sound. He shut it again, pondering the answer in his mind, "I don't know, I want to… remember my past?"

"Sorry, I can't help you on that." Axel grumbled, "I already told you everything I could."

'_Fine, I see how it is.'_

Roxas froze. There it is again. That weird, familiar voice of a memory that didn't belong to him. There was a vortex before him, swirling and swirling. An image of a bricked street appeared. The sky was a gentle hue of pomegranate, the orange rays of sun showered the buildings. Axel was right here, in a strange knee-long black coat.

"Axel…" Roxas murmured. Axel averted his gaze from the window to the stiffened blond.

"What?"

Roxas didn't reply, but continue staring into the vortex before him. _'Oh, so you do remember me this time? I'm so FLATTERED! But you're too late!'_ The blond's breath hitched and he hyperventilated. Axel widened his eyes, hands reaching out to shake Roxas by the shoulders.

"Roxas! Are you okay?"

Roxas pulled his gaze from his age-old memory to Axel;

And shrieked.

All attention on the bus focused on the screaming blonde. The driver abruptly halted the vehicle and went back to see what happened. Among the chaos Roxas demanded exit; and he was granted his exit. He ran off from the bus, Axel following behind. They chased like that for a while on the street, until Roxas approached a house and ran inside, slamming the door locked.

Axel panted, staring up at the cozy looking building. _So this is where Roxas live now…_

The next day Roxas' door was being knocked furiously. The blond fretfully ambled up to the door, focusing through the peep hole to see who it was. And as expected he saw flaming red hair and sharp green eyes. A scared whimper escaped Roxas' lips.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Axel. Open the door, Roxas."

"No! W-What do you want?"

"I wanna know what you saw yesterday on the bus."

"I… You're a liar! You lied to me!"

"What?"

"You said you loved me in our past lives! But I saw you attacking me!"

There was a long pause of silence. Axel dug through his brain to find all the memories of his past life. He finally realized when he thought again.

"T-That was a misunderstanding, Roxas."

"Yea-huh, sure! How?"

"That was because you already forgot me by then! I was frustrated and I was ordered to attack you if you won't come back with me!"

Roxas frowned on the other side of the door, piecing the information together. "But if you really, really loved me, you would never hurt me, will you?"

"I won't! I won't…" Axel almost sobbed, "I will never hurt you, okay? I will NEVER hurt you! Got it-"

"Memorized?" Axel nearly fell on top of Roxas when the blond opened the door, "Is that what you were going to say?"

"Yes! It is! You remember now?" Axel asked, hope growing in his voice.

"Some fragments…" Roxas nodded.

"Look, other than that time, have I ever tried to hurt you?"

"I don't remember…" Roxas pouted, the frown returning to its place.

"Well what do you know so far?"

"I know that in the past life we knew each other, and then I forgot you, and you were pissed off. Then we decided to meet in the next life, which is now." Roxas blurted out, "That's all I know."

"Ok, okay. Good. That's a good start." Axel nodded, more to himself, "At least now you know that you knew me."

"I guess…" Roxas smiled kindly. Again that feeling of talking to a stranger whelmed in Axel's stomach, but he tried his best to hem it in. He studied the blond before him; the stranger that imposed Roxas' appearance. The intense gaze those azure eyes were giving was almost as if the sleeping Roxas, the one that Axel loved oh-so much, was screaming, crying out for Axel to wake him. And that is what he would do.

"So uh… what now?" Roxas asked quietly, the faintest blush appearing on his cheeks. It only deepened when his stomach growled, protesting its emptiness. Axel chuckled, "Wanna grab some lunch together?"

"Sure!"

* * *

It's been a whole month since Axel had met Roxas in this life again, but there was no obvious improvement of his memories at all. Sure, there were some vestiges and traces that returned to their places; but the most important part still hasn't come back yet. And Axel could hardly contain himself now. Every time he sees the blond his heart would start skipping faster and the urges to hug Roxas became more frequent every time he smiled, thus making him starting to avoid Roxas on purpose.

_Rrrrr!_

The abrupt noise his cell phone made snapped Axel out of his thoughts. He groaned, crawling out of bed towards the ringing mobile piece.

"Hello?"

"Axel?" It's Roxas, again.

"Yeah?"

"W-Would you mind if I… if I come over to your apartment now?" Axel could _hear_ the blush from his voice. He scanned his eyes over to the clock, which read seven thirty. Was it dinner time already?

"Um, yea sure. I mean, go ahead, I'll be waiting. It's the second left door on fifth floor."

"Okay, I'll be there in about… thirty minutes." Roxas agreed and hung up, a smile creeping to his lips.

* * *

The bell rang two times before Axel opened it hesitantly. Roxas' first reaction when he saw Axel's face was a gasp. The redhead didn't look very bad, but he apparently had lost some weight (if it was even possible with his anorexic form to start with), hadn't gotten any good sleep and was evidently frustrated.

"Axel…what happened to you?"

"Nothing…why?" Axel shrugged as he went to make some coffee.

"You kinda… look terrible." Roxas cautiously stepped into the decent apartment.

"I guess I just need some sleep." Axel sighed, slumping into a chair. Roxas walked up and seized the cup of coffee from the redhead's hands, dumping the content into the sink.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Axel protested, walking up behind Roxas. The blond turned and pushed Axel towards the bed, "No coffee for you tonight! Go to sleep!"

"What, now?"

"Yeah, now!" Roxas pouted, forcing the redhead onto the bed and placed the sheets over him carefully.

Silence ensued. Axel stared at the ceiling, while Roxas scanned everywhere in the room, fingers fidgeting sometimes.

"I can't sleep… It's way too early."

"What do you want me to do? I'm worried about you!"

Axel turned to look at Roxas, who looked away shyly, a blush coming up to his face._ Wait…Is he…?_

"Why would you be worried about me?" Axel pushed further, a slight frown coming between his brows.

"What do you mean 'why'? Why wouldn't I be?" Roxas argued back.

"I mean… Come to look at it. Who am I to you right now, Roxas? I was only a stranger that walked up to you on a bus one day, claiming that I knew you. And I do; I mean, not _you_ you, but the old Roxas you." Axel said, "How would you be worried about me all of a sudden? Heck, it's even a miracle that you are willing to believe me up 'til now!"

"That's because you're not just a stranger to me!" Roxas stated, eyes looking further away and cheeks blushing harder, "It's because… because… because I like you!"

If Axel had finished his cup of coffee, his heart would've failed him for hyperactivity.

"Y-You… what?"

"I _said_, I like you!" Roxas repeated, "I can't stop thinking about you since the first time we met! I…I don't know what's happening to me, Axel… It's just…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Axel interrupted, "Hold up, kid."

"Huh?"

"Look, I… I know I said I love you, but… the one I love is Roxas, as in the former, the 'Nobody' Roxas." Axel was beating himself up for saying this, "I'm sorry. It's just… When I'm with you, I feel like I'm only with someone that _looked_ like Roxas, not really the Roxas that I knew."

Tears uncontrollably streamed out from Roxas' eyes as he sobbed. Axel was terrified; he sat up, cooing the blond into his arms and soothing him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"I wish I was that Roxas…"

"Shh… Silly, you are. You just… need to remember." Axel cradled Roxas, rocking him gently.

"Tell me more about him…"

"Well… He's much meaner than you." Axel chuckled, "When he's angry, he just swings the keyblade around. And when he's really not in the mood, he could snap at you, yell at you, ignore you, or even just lock himself up in his room."

"Then why do you love him?"

"Maybe it's because… he's cute in that way. When he frowns, he frowns in a way that makes you want to make him smile. When he yells, he yells in a way that makes you want to hug him and tell him everything's okay. When he smiles, it seems like the world is brighter and makes you wanna smile too."

"Wow… sounds like you're really in love…"

"Yeah… I am… I miss him."

"…I miss him too." Roxas mumbled one last time, nuzzling into Axel's chest and slowly drifting into sleep with the redhead.

* * *

'_Your mind's made up?'_

"Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have the right to know!"

'_You can't turn your back on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!'_

"No one would miss me…"

'_That's not true…'_

"I would." Axel's steady low voice woke Roxas up. Dark lashes fluttered open to reveal watery cobalt eyes. For a moment Roxas had forgotten where he was, what he was doing, and why he was where he was. He glanced around, and found Axel's green eyes, "Hey…"

"You're remembering." Axel smiled, ruffling Roxas' blonde hair affectionately. Roxas giggled, patting his hand away.

"Yeah, but…It still feels like something's missing." The blond frowned, "Like… I can't remember why I loved you… as in the old Roxas, not the me now."

"Don't force yourself." Axel sighed, leaving the bedside to make some breakfast, "It'll come eventually, I'm sure."

Roxas sat up, dangling his leg over the edge of the bed. He stared at the floor, thoughts going through the memories he'd recovered so far. It felt strange, having two different personalities like this. It's almost as if he had to switch from being one person to another. But whichever Roxas he was being, he was sure of one thing: he loves Axel. That is the one fact that would not change about him.

The only question is, does Axel think about it the same way…?

"So Axel, what kind of a relationship are we in right now?" Roxas asked suddenly, gaze rising up to meet with the redhead's. Axel stopped moving, turning his head slightly to the side, "Think of it as I'm suiting you and waiting for your answer."

"But I _have_ an answer." Roxas replied, "I love you."

"Don't say it so easily." Axel turned around and sat beside the blonde, "It really depends on how much you remember…"

"Why does it matter?" Roxas frowned, growing infatuated, "Either way, whichever Roxas I'm being, I still love you! Why would it matter on how much I remember?"

"Because it's not the same person that I love, Roxas!" Axel yelled, his hands almost pulling his red hair from its scalp, "Goddammit! Why can't you just _remember_?"

"Can I just… Can I just leave?" Roxas wept, "I'm tired…"

Axel didn't say another word; he didn't encourage Roxas to go; nor did he plead Roxas to stay. He just remained seated there on his bed, frustrated and irritated. Roxas tried his best to wipe away the tears flowing from his eyes; his body shuddering from sadness as he silently left the apartment.

* * *

Axel hadn't heard from Roxas for the following month. When he couldn't bear it anymore he finally decided to call the blonde and apologize.

_Drrrrrrr…_

_Drrrrrrr…_

_Drrr-_

"Hello?"

"Hey, Roxas?" Axel asked, voice ghostly.

"…H-Hey, Axel."

"Um… Look, I'm really sorry for yelling at you last time…" The redhead rubbed his head embarrassedly, "I know you've been trying really hard and I just shouldn't have… y'know, say things like that…So, I'm sorry, really."

"…Apology accepted." Roxas chuckled; Axel nearly sighed out loud.

"So uh, you wanna hang out and see if we can… y'know, just talk?"

"Sure, when?" Roxas asked as he browsed through the isle of ice cream fridges in the grocery store.

"Um, how about the park behind my apartment building at…" Axel glanced at his watch, "one fifteen? Is that alright with you?"

"Yeah, of course." Roxas agreed, "Okay, I'll see ya, bye."

A sweet smile crept through Roxas' lips as he hung up, walking down the isle. He scanned the various brands and flavors of the icy treats, until his eyes landed on one particular ice cream bar.

His breath caught and his brain almost temporarily stopped functioning.

'_You really don't remember? It's me. You know, Axel.'_  
'_Wait, tell me what's going on!'_  
'_You're coming with me, conscious or not. Then you'll hear the story.'_  
'_We're…best friends, right?'_  
'_Soon I won't even be able to talk to your consciousness like this.'_  
'_Roxas… You have a heart, don't you?'_  
'_I don't know either… But, the heart isn't something you can see.'_  
'_Do you remember? The day we met, you had a new name, and then we went up here and watched the sunset.'_  
'_Man, this ice cream really is salty after all!'_  
'_See you, Axel.'_  
'_I wanted to see Roxas. He was the only one I liked. He made me feel… like I had a heart.'_

"Axel…" Tears trailed down Roxas' pale skin as memories came back. A turn on his heels and he was flying out of the store, running for the only person he ever cared for. He almost crossed the hazardous crosswalk without looking, that is, thanks to a hand pulling him backwards.

"Whoa, slow down, speedhead." Axel grinned, "Did you really missed me that mu-"

"AXEL!" Roxas almost pounced on the redhead, knocking both of them onto the street, "Oh my god, I missed you so much…" Despite the strange stares the pedestrians were giving them, Roxas showered Axel's face with kisses, "I missed you SO much…"

"Whoa, whoa, okay, ok. Relax." Axel held Roxas head back, "Is something wrong? You sounded fine in the phone."

"I remember now! I remember everything!" Roxas laughed through his tears of joy, "Organization 13! I'm number XIII, the Key of Destiny; you're number VIII, the Flurry of Dancing Flames!"

Axel nearly had the third heart attack in the span of half a year, "You… Roxas… Wait, you know, gotta make sure and all. So, umm… What's our boss's name?"

"Xemnas!" Roxas almost screamed, "Goddamn fuckin' Xemnas! You asked me that question and I didn't know the answer!"

"…I love you." Axel could no longer hold back his smile. Lips joined together, love and passion and adoration and affection and happiness and relief all pouring out. All kinds of emotions meshing together into a bright colorful masterpiece…

* * *

A/N: Damn. This is probably the longest oneshot I've ever written. Probably the best yet so far, too. This was inspired by a cosplay video on youtube. The quotes and lines are from KH games. Reviews will be awesome!


	6. Winter

**Winter**

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm Tetsuya Nomura and I have to go through all this trouble to write a fanfiction about my own characters and not make it happen in the game why? Because I'm not him and I don't own those characters that's why.

Warning: AkuRoku romance below. Boy-boy relationship. Rated PG-13 for language.

A/N: Merry Christmas! Well I typed this oneshot up in **one day**, geez, I need sleep XD But yeah, I wrote another SoraxRiku oneshot for X'mas, but that one wasn't good enough so I figured I should write an AkuRoku one to make up for it...

Summary: Winter was Roxas' favorite season; and Axel, his apartment lease-mate, hated it.

* * *

Winter was Roxas' favorite season. This is the time of the year when everywhere is decorated with pleasant, enthusiastic and cheerful lights. This is when people stop their hustling in life and pay a little affectionate attention to their beloved ones. This is when the wind blows so strongly against the workingmen's faces that they shuffle their feet faster to get home where their sweet family will be waiting for them. This is the time when delicate fragments of snow descend neatly down from the sky outside while Roxas could stay warm in his apartment, sitting behind the movie playing on his plasma TV and sipping slightly from the steaming cup of hot cocoa in his hands; the fireplace glowing with soothing blobs of flames. Ahhh... Just perfect.

Except, of course, life isn't always perfect.

A loud _THUD!_ from his bathroom sent Roxas rolling his eyes and grumbling. Groaning, he placed his warm beverage onto the coffee table before him and paused the movie, standing up and ambling over to the source of clinking plumbing noises and curses.

The bathroom was a mess. Freezing cold water was splattered all over the ground and continuing to splatter out from the sink faucet. A redhead soaked in water was cursing loudly as he tried to stop the outbreak of piping with unsuccessful deeds. Roxas stood at the door, staring at the drenched man with nothing but a completely soaked white shirt and boxers on.

This... is Axel, Roxas' apartment lease-mate. When Roxas graduated from high school, his parents first insisted on buying him a condo, though Roxas later convinced them that he would do just fine with an apartment. In the end, he wound up leasing the apartment with his best friend's boyfriend's best friend. Apparently Axel hated winter. The guy has some serious issue with fire. Pst, pyro.

"What the hell are you doing?" Roxas asked, voice unusually calm but a slight bit emotionless.

"Arrgghhhh... A little help here would be nice, Roxy..." Axel moved his face away from the water and replied, though quickly shut his lips before the tap water would shoot right into his mouth.

"I told you not to call me that." Roxas frowned, tiptoeing over the icy puddles of water and crouching under the big fat parabola of spraying tap water so he could grab a screwdriver and start fixing the plumb which was not the first time he did this, "How many times have you broken the faucet now?"

"Aii dron't knowl..." Axel babbled, having the water firing straight into his mouth. After a few more handiwork that Roxas did, the water finally slowed down to a stop. "Phewww... Thanks, Roxi-" A glare was shot. "-xas." Axel grinned sheepishly, hand scratching the back of his head which was completely soaked, like the rest of his body. Roxas sighed, closing the sink cabinet and stood up, "I'm ordering pizza tonight, are you staying for dinner?"

"Of course." Axel almost ripped his soggy shirt off and shrugged, "It's not like I had any plans anyways..."

"Okay." Roxas replied quickly before rushing out, eyes avoiding to land on Axel's exposed chest.

* * *

When the pizza-man came, Roxas gleefully went up to open the door. He was starving, to say the least. At first Roxas couldn't see the deliverer's face, for he had those typical employee's black baseball cap on; but when he looked up, Roxas' breath nearly caught in his throat. The man had shoulder-long pink hair, accompanied by effeminately long eyelashes and eyes. He smiled, hands holding out the pizza box to Roxas, "Twenty-three ninety-nine for a supreme combo."

Roxas took a second to tear his gaze off from the man and search for the money he prepared. Axel who had just came out of a refreshing bath, strolled out to witness their transaction.

"Twenty three... and what? Ninety-nine cents?"

"Yeah." The deliverer smirked, "And a kiss can get you extra service."

"Huh?" Roxas abruptly looked up, before blushing madly when the message sank in.

"Whoa, whoa." Axel walked up to the front door and roughly grabbed the pizza box from the man's arms, "Kid's taken." He gave the delivery man his money and a nasty hatred-filled grin plus glare before shoving Roxas back into the apartment by the head and almost slamming the door shut.

"Ow! Axel! What the hell was that about?" Roxas tried ruffling his hair back into place as he stumbled after the redhead, "Me,_ taken_?"

"He was friggin' hitting on you." Axel shrugged as if it was nothing and settled onto the couch along with the pizza, "Horny guys like that needs to be kept away from little kids like you, so chill."

"Axel! I'm not a kid! I'm eighteen for goodness' sake!" Roxas growled, sitting beside Axel and took a slice of pizza, "And, I'm _single_ plus _bi_, for your information. So what's wrong with some guy hitting on me?"

"Whatever." Axel shrugged, eyes fixed on the playing movie on the screen, "So, you got any plans tomorrow? It's Christmas Eve."

"Maybe." Roxas murmured, "Sora said he was thinking of a karaoke party. Might be inviting friends like Olette, Hayner, Tidus, blah. We'll see... What about you? Hanging out with anyone? Family?"

"Nope. I'm an orphan, remember?" Axel reminded, tone the slightest bit sad; but Roxas couldn't have caught it for he was focusing on the movie.

"Oh..." Roxas said, suddenly guilty of asking. Part of that guilty feeling also generated from realizing how little he knew about his lease-mate despite the fact that they were living in the same place for almost a year, "Sorry, forgot."

"It's fine." Axel faked a smile, suppressing the sour feeling that stung in his heart. Who could've known that his house-mate was this nonchalant? And Axel just had to like him out of all the people he knows in his life... "This movie's so boring, why did you rent it?" Axel expressed, shoving the last piece of the crust into his mouth before standing up and started to return to his room, "I'm full."

"Wait, Axel!" Roxas called, but to no avail, "Dammit... Always leaving me to deal with the garbage!"

* * *

By the time Roxas finished the movie, Axel's room was already devoid of any light. Taking a quick brush of teeth, the blonde retreated to his bed, snuggling peacefully under his thick and warm blanket.

Axel really couldn't sleep. His already occupied mind has been constantly woken up by the tingling pain his all-too-frozen feet sent up his nerves. _When will Roxas finally find someone to just repair the damn heater already?_ Sighing, he flung the sheets away and sat at the edge of his bed before standing up to go over to the blonde's room.

He knocked at the door, "Roxas?"

Silence followed for a while before the blond kind of... _mewled_ in reply. _Dang was that cute... kind of... sexy too... Wait! What am I thinking? I have to ask him about the heater!_ The redhead slowly opened the door only to find more darkness. But the moonlight creeping through the windowpanes lined Roxas' figure clearly. Two white reflecting orbs were staring from the figure, which Axel presumed was his eyes.

"I uh... My room's too cold." Axel started hesitantly, "You know, heater's down and all. And you know I really hate cold weather..."

"Axel, just come here and sleep." Roxas groaned tiredly, turning to face the wall and scooted over a little to give the redhead some space. A relieved smile quickly beamed on Axel's features before he walked over and slipped into the bed beside the blonde.

An awkward silence followed. Well, at least it was awkward for Axel. He propped onto his elbow and looked at Roxas, who had regained the posture of lying on his back. It was just a perfect time to admire the boy's beauty. Sandy blonde hair slightly curled to a side; dark long lashes rained down like a beautiful curtain of aurora; pale yet apricot coated skin and pink and kissable lips. Before he knew it, Axel was gazing at Roxas' sleeping state with immense affection in his piercing emerald eyes. With a sigh of content, the redhead lied on his back comfortably and closed his eyes, "Goodnight, Roxas."

Roxas half opened his eyes, letting his eyelids hover over his crystal cerulean irises and glanced over at Axel, watching his chest rise and fall with steady breaths. He smiled,

"Goodnight, Axel."

* * *

Axel was woken up by the annoying buzzing of the home telephone next morning. Stretching him arms out reflexively, the redhead found Roxas absent in his bed. Giving a sigh, he reached his arm out to the telephone; but just before he touched it, it stopped ringing.

"Hello?" Axel could hear Roxas' voice outside in the kitchen. "Hey, Sora. Yeah... uh-huh, uh-huh. Cool. Okay, I'll see you guys there. Five PM at The World that Never Was Karaoke, right? Okay, alright. Bye..."

"So you guys found a place to hang out tonight?" Axel asked, poking his head into the kitchen and conveniently stole a corner of the French toast, earning a slap on his hand.

"Yeah." Roxas nodded, "Oh! Do you have any plans for today now? 'Cause if you don't, why don't you come with me?"

"You sure it's ok?" Axel cocked a curious eyebrow.

"Of course, duh." Roxas rolled his eyes derisively, "It's not like they're not your friends, too!"

"Oh... right." Axel grinned sheepishly before making his way to the bathroom, hopefully not destroying the faucet while brushing his teeth this time.

* * *

Everybody was already there and partying like crazy by the time Roxas and Axel got there. A waitress dressed in a bimbo-styled reindeer outfit passed by them and offered drinks. Roxas declined and asked for iced tea while Axel grabbed a beer swiftly. Roxas almost glared at Axel for his hasty behavior.

"What? It's not like I'm not old enough to drink." Axel retorted, "Plus, just a few bottles won't hurt..."

- An hour later -

Demyx, Xigbar and Axel had their arms draped around each other's shoulder, all three of them singing – more like shrieking – into their microphones; their faces all tinted with the rosy shade of alcohol's affect. Roxas sighed, regretting ever thought of bringing Axel to the party. A girl with smooth ice blond hair smiled and sat down next to Roxas.

"What's wrong, Roxas? It's Christmas Eve! Cheer up!"

"Oh hey Naminé." Roxas smiled weakly back, "Well..." He averted his gaze over to the 'shrieking trio'. Naminé followed his gaze and giggled, "They look like they're having fun."

When the song finished, Axel relaxed from the constant abuse of his vocal cord and turned around to sit down, only to find his favorite blond chatting and giggling with another girl. Something in the back of the redhead's heart burned; and he turned back to facing the TV screen, snatching the song-selection remote from Demyx's hands to furiously search for the next song.

_'You're so attractive, _

_there must be more than five or six of them who wants you..._

_Once I'm marked down,_

_I've got nowhere left to be._

_I'm not good enough,_

_No matter how hard I try,_

_I won't win over the other competition...'_

"So Uncle and Auntie are doing good I see..." Naminé smiled as she finished. A sudden silence followed, and Roxas realized something was strange. Why was the room suddenly so quiet? Why wasn't anyone screaming anymore? Why was there no one shrieking into the microphone anymore? He looked around and found everyone seemingly in a state of daze, their hazed eyes fixated on the redhead singing – note that, _singing_, not shrieking; and quite gracefully, no less – in the center of the room.

_'But I understand myself,_

_there's no way I will fall in love with anyone else._

_No matter how close we may seem to be,_

_I realize that I'm only your last resort._

_I wonder who will be the honored one to go with you?_

_I'm pretty sure I won't be that person._

_I try my best to cope with you,_

_but I'm still not attractive enough for you...'_

Everyone in the room were calmly clapping their hands to the slow yet beautifully sad rhythm of the song. Roxas has never heard Axel sing so well before, let alone being so emotional. There were obvious hints of desperation in his voice, accompanied by the gorgeous despair in his eyes.

"Hm... I wonder who Axel is singing this for..." Naminé hummed as she dipped her head side to side according to the beat of the music, her eyes closed as she indulged into the song, "It must be someone very special to him..."

Roxas returned his gaze to the singing redhead, admiration growing in his heart.

_'But I don't have the strength to make you proud;_

_I'm far from being like a dignified prince or a brave warrior._

_But I understand myself ,_

_there's no way I will fall in love with anyone else._

_You plan to start seeing someone next month,_

_I already know that I'm not that "someone"._

_I know I'm not good enough for you...'_

Cheers and applause immediately followed after. Axel, having his catharsis expressed secretly in the song, manged to fake a grin as he returned to Roxas' side.

"Axel, that was really good!" Roxas complimented, oblivious to the pain Axel was feeling.

"Thanks." The redhead sighed, draining more beer down his throat.

"Naminé said that you were singing this song for someone." Roxas added as Axel placed the empty beer glass onto the table and grabbed another full one, "Who is that person? Do I know her?"

Axel chuckled bitterly, bringing the beer glass up to his lips, "Yeah,_ his_ name is Roxas." And he emptied the beer glass, passing out instantly after.

Roxas, having just heard a confession, was too shocked to react. He stared at the fainted Axel, mouth agape with no sound. A brunette went over and patted Roxas' shoulder, "Hey, Roxas, wanna sing... WHAT'S HAPPENED TO AXEL?"

"Oh..." Roxas snapped into reality and looked at his friend, "Sora, uh... Axel kinda... passed out..."

"OH NO!" The over-reactive brunette exclaimed and fretted over the redhead; and before Roxas could stop it, Sora had Axel towed away to his house claiming that he would take care of the redhead. Roxas would've tried arguing, saying why the heck should Sora take care of Axel when he lives with Roxas; but before he opened his mouth, Axel's confession came to his mind again and a nostalgic feeling overwhelmed him. When he finally regained conscience, Sora's car was long gone.

* * *

A pounding headache was not a nice thing to wake up with. Axel knows that better than anyone for right now he was not only experiencing a poor headache, but also a terrible nausea. Hangovers are bitches. Groaning, the redhead sat up from what was not his bed, nor Roxas', but an unfamiliar one. He glanced around, not recognizing a single bit of the room. Hastily he stood up and walked out to what seemed like a living room where Riku was sitting behind some newspapers.

"Riku! Man, what's up?" Axel approached the silver-haired man, "Am I at your house?"

"Yeah, you passed out last night." Riku replied nonchalantly, "Sora insisted on bringing you home."

"Oh... Thanks." Axel rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "So uh... where's Roxas?"

"He went back." Riku answered, "He said... You said something to him last night."

Axel's face visibly paled, "I did?"

"Yeah," Riku chuckled, "He said you _confessed_."

"Oh. Shit." Axel was soon stumbling out of the house, "I have to go, thanks for taking me in for the night!"

"Alright!" Riku called back, grinning all the while.

* * *

When Axel arrived at their apartment, he patted around his hips to look for the keys, and found none. _Damn it... Roxas... He's gonna be..._ He knocked the door furiously, rang the bell like crazy while screaming for the blonde to open up. But all pleas were only answered by silence. _Shit... He must be pissed at me... He must think I'm the biggest creep in the world now..._ "Roxas! Just open up! I can explain this!"

But there was no answer. Poor Axel was left outside, freezing under zero degree Celsius by the love of his life. _Why the hell did I have to be an idiot and ruin everything?_ The headache was worsening by the seconds, and the snow that started falling from the sky wasn't exactly helping. Axel left his coat and wallet and cell phone and everything else at Riku's, and he did _not_ have any painkillers before he left the house. Goosebumps were starting to grow on his skin as he clutched his white shirt closer to himself (as if it was possible), the nauseous feeling growing in his stomach. Damn, winter really wasn't his season.

"Roxas, please..." Axel's breath came out as a harsh whisper along with a huff of perspiration, "Just open the door! I'm freezing... I-I was drunk! I didn't know what I was doing or what I was saying! Please, I can explain this... I..."

* * *

Roxas hurried down the sidewalk when snow started falling. He huddled the grocery bags closer to himself as if that would prevent the snowflakes from falling into the bags. His (sorta girly) boots made slightly clonking sounds against the dampening pavement. He turned around the corner to where his apartment complex was. But as he arrived at the stairs that led to his home, a terrifying sight entered his eyes.

Bags were dropped and oranges rolled out to the road. Roxas' boots were almost flying up the stairs to where a redhead laid unconscious on a thin layer of snow.

"Axel!" Roxas cried, shaking said redhead, "Axel can you hear me?"

* * *

The warm sound of cackling flames crept their way into Axel's ears. The headache was still there though it was much better now with his body in a warmer room... Wait, where _is_ he? Slowly Axel opened his eyes, blinking them to focus until he recognized the age-old crack on Roxas' room's ceiling. He tried to sit up, but his sore limbs told him otherwise; so he resorted to turning his neck to look at what he could.

"Roxas..." Said blonde jumped at the voice and looked up to the redhead. He smiled angelically and pulled the sheets over Axel tighter; then he leaned forward to place his forehead onto Axel's, checking his body temperature and succeeding in making Axel blush.

"You idiot... What the heck do you think you were doing staying out there in the cold like that?" Roxas stared distinctly into Axel's green eyes.

"I... I thought you locked me out because I told you..." Axel mumbled, his face ghosted by an aura of childishness.

Roxas snickered and pulled away, though remaining close to Axel's face, "Silly... Why would I lock someone I like out after he told me that he likes me too?"

The redhead's face evidently brightened up as he reached his arms out to pull Roxas into a warm embrace, nuzzling his nose into those soft golden locks.

* * *

_I'm not afraid of the cold, baby;_

_'cause I've got you right here to hold onto._

* * *

And that's it! Thanks for reading! Leave a review and tell me what you think, please?_  
_


	7. Finding the Light

**Finding the Light**

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or any characters or any rights to it.

Warning: yaoi, boy-boy relationships, some mature contents, strong language, AkuRoku.

Summary: Roxas, a fashion model, woke up in this stranger's bed stark naked. He thought he could just get away with irresponsible one-night-stands like this by slipping out the door. But Fate was not going to cut him any slack this time...

A/N: This is for IceShrimp's bday! Happy bday hun! (check links on my profile page please) Reviews are the nicest!

* * *

Sunlight was pouring gently into the plain cream color-toned room, bird chirpings in the distance popped randomly from places to places.

It was one of those mornings when you have gotten so much rest that your brain wouldn't go back to sleep anymore no matter how much you didn't want to get up. Roxas knew that he'd eventually have to haul his ass up, but the unfamiliar bed was just waaay too comfy and his head was pounding in a hangover headache. He squirmed, trying to get more comfortable under the thick sheets, and stopped when his knee lightly bumped something _soft_. Something like… a pillow, but a little harder than that; like chest muscles, but a little softer…

The blond snapped his eyes open when a low groan was emitted, followed by a change of the dip on the bed caused by someone beside him snuggling into a pillow. He looked to his right and found a back, bare of any clothing, facing him, along with unfriendly spikes of red hair that seemed as if they were spikes taken from a porcupine that was genetically modified into a bright red color.

"Shit." Roxas mumbled to the back, eyes wide with surprise and embarrassment. He lifted the sheets to discover that what his knee had bumped into was this stranger's _ass_. And that he, too, was stark naked down to his birthday suit.

"Shit." He couldn't help but curse again, lying his head back onto the pillow. He scanned around the room and, to his delight, found his clothes lying somewhere on the floor. Slowly inching away from the stranger, Roxas managed to get out of the bed without waking him. But before he made his way to his pool of clothes, his bladder pulled onto sore signals to remind him of its heaviness.

"Shit." He cursed for the third time as he hurriedly spotted the en-suite bathroom and rushed into it, too occupied to even close the door, and happily relieved himself.

* * *

Axel was in peaceful sleep until he was woken up by an annoying, prolonged, unceasing sound of liquid dripping. Lazily he lifted up his head slightly to look into his bathroom, and found himself looking at the back of a blond man who was standing there peeing.

_What the fuck…?_

Axel's short red brows squeezed together as he tried very hard to figure out why exactly was there a blond, anonymous and utterly _naked_ boy standing in his bathroom. The boy sighed a "bladder-relieved" sigh and turned around.

Ah, the classic awkward turtle moment.

"…Hi." Roxas couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'll be going in a second…" He trailed off as he tip-toed to his clothes, extreme embarrassment showing in his face. "If I can just get changed…"

"Who are you?" The inevitable question came, and Roxas stopped. He started pulling his lips to a corner sheepishly and cocked his head to a side, "I'm uh…"

"What are you doing in my house?" Axel asked suspiciously, suddenly aware of their nudity.

The blond opened his lips and fished for words, "…Good question."

"Shit." The redhead mumbled, looking off to this side. Another silence ensued.

"D-Did we… last night…" Axel turned back to Roxas, pointing between the blond and himself weakly. Roxas looked down at his exposed lower body upon the pointing and scrambled to cover it with his jeans. "I… don't know, actually." He looked down again, and back at the redhead again. "Okay, maybe."

"Shit." Axel slapped his forehead and collapsed onto his back. Roxas took it as a cue for his time to go. "Uh, I'll just change and get going."

* * *

"What do you MEAN you don't know his name?" Sora questioned in a high-pitched, skeptical voice. He was power-walking to a building with a cup of coffee in one hand and dragging Roxas with the other.

"Well I mean I don't know his name!" Roxas replied with a frown, struggling to keep up with the brunet's fast pace. And all that effort only contributed to a bigger blow in his forehead when Sora stopped abruptly causing him to bump into the brunet.

"Okay, young man." – As if Sora was much older than Roxas – "You need to get this together. This is going out of hand. Just because you're gay and sleeping with guys won't get you pregnant doesn't mean that you can spend every night in one-night-stands with different guys each and every single time. It's dangerous!"

"Psshh." Roxas pouted, finding no way to argue with Sora.

"I really don't feel like losing good models." Sora continued, their walking went on again, "And I'm just about to get another one. Xemnas called a meeting today because there's gonna be a new guy. He said he's adding this one to my collection."

"We're models, not objects. Stop describing us as your 'collection'." Roxas rolled his eyes.

"What do you want me to call you guys then? My babies?" Sora joked, laughing as Roxas got even more irritated and tried to struggle from his grip. Presently they arrived at the lobby of the modeling agency 'Organization XIII'.

The photographing crew was already ready when Sora shoved Roxas into the studio. The brunet hastily gave instructions and directions to the photographer before leaving everything in his hands (including Roxas) and rushing to the conference floor where his boss would be waiting for him.

* * *

The man was eyeing him up and down, pausing here and there as if checking for some abnormal sized lump on his skin that would burst any second. Finally he was satisfied and nodded with a secretive smile.

"What's your name again?" He asked.

"Axel." The redhead replied, swallowing nervously. The man nodded again. "Unique name. Good. The audience will remember it. We can promote you with just that name." He stated and shrugged, "Save the energy to make up a new one."

Axel swallowed again and nodded hesitantly.

"Now, if the person we're waiting for will just show up…" The man looked at the door that remained unmoving; he frowned, "Please excuse me." He stood up and walked over to the door, hands reaching for the knob and flinched back just in time as the entire door swung towards him imprudently.

"Sorry! Sorry! Boss…" A boy in his young twenties was doubled over, trying hard to catch his breath. "I-I tried to get here as fast as I…"

"Gee, you're gonna kill someone if you open the door like that again!" The man scolded, looking down at his employee who started to straighten up. "Just come here. He's been waiting."

Axel stood up as the man returned with the boy who meekly shook Axel's hand. He had a head of nutmeg spikes that seemed gravity-defying, just like his, except a little shorter. He also had the biggest sapphire blue eyes Axel had probably ever seen… save for the anonymous guy he saw this morning.

"Axel, this is Sora. He will be your manager for your career from now on." The man announced, "Make friends with him."

Axel nodded timidly, half intimidated by the bulky silver-haired man.

* * *

The huge fan was blowing right into Roxas' face, drying his eyes with tears that burned. He resisted the urge to let the tears fall and blink due to his current hairstyle that made his bangs tickle his eyes. Years of modeling experiences allowed him the ability to pose even in such irritating positions. The photographer continued to flash his camera and yell out "good!' or "fantastic!"

Sora led Axel into the only studio that was running on this not-so-busy day. The photographing crew was in the far center of the warehouse so all the redhead could see was a guy with a blob of blond hair standing before the white canvas, moving slightly as the photographer shot from frame to frame.

"Let's go to the green room and wait until they're done." Sora pointed to the cutout area at a side that was supposedly the resting area for models or actors to reapply makeup or wait. "I'll tour you around the crew and equipments, okay? You'll also get to meet a bunch of people." He sat down in an empty chair and pulled out his PDA, "Now, your first job is with… Cid Highwind. Hm, nice. You're lucky to start with such a renowned photographer."

On the other hand, that only made Axel more unnerved. Sora caught this in his face and reassured, "Oh don't worry. You'll do fine. Some of my other models have also started their career with Cid, and they all did very well. Ah! Take Roxas here as an example…" Sora turned around in his chair to look at the production that was still progressing. "His first job was this hand watch commercial. And he even dropped the watch just holding it with his hands!" Currently Roxas was expertly holding the watch with his mouth so that it dangled from his lips like a sensual lollipop. "And look at him now!"

Axel stared at the blond that was being photographed; silently he wished he could one day model like this "Roxas" person.

The photographer called "last frame" just as Roxas was about to lose control of his tears. He returned the watch to a crew member and immediately asked for tissue-paper so he could wipe away the dark black eye makeup that was starting to get smudged into his eyes. Sora rushed up to help him over to the green room where Axel immediately got out of his seat to let Roxas sit down. The boy was doubled over as he buried his face in the facial paper and for a while Axel couldn't clearly see his face with all the black-stained tears rolling down his cheeks that were covered with his intentionally messy bangs.

"Owww… Sora, please don't make me do the same thing again." Roxas whined, wiping the last of his sore-eye tears away.

"I'm sorry… it's what the client wanted." The brunet apologized sympathetically, "Maybe I should've told them not to use the fan."

"Heck yeah." Roxas blinked for a few more times before finally being able to focus. Instantly his attention was diverted to the redheaded man standing behind him.

_Holy… fuck…_

"Oh! I haven't introduced you guys yet!" Sora grinned accomplishedly, "Roxas, this is Axel. He's the new model I told you about. Axel, this is Roxas, one of the models I'm following through."

"You…" Axel pointed at Roxas in the mirror, and Roxas returned his stare with a bigger stare.

Sora was confused as he tried to connect what was going on between them. "What's wrong? Do you guys know each other?"

Roxas grabbed Sora's shoulder and hustled him to a side. "Dude! He's the guy I told you about this morning!" He whispered harshly.

"What?" Sora squawked, immediately silenced by Roxas, "H-he… and you…? No way…"

"Yeah, I wish so too." Roxas nodded dreadfully, "Are you sure you've got the right guy?"

"Um, yeah." Sora gave Roxas the "Duh!" expression, "Did you think Xemnas would mix up a person? Of course not!"

Roxas frowned in exasperation. This is far too embarrassing. Sora huffed and sighed, "Well, you can't run away forever. You'll have to collaborate with this guy eventually. You know Xemnas will insist on it."

Roxas' anguish multiplied on this face. Sora could merely pat on his shoulder and walked back to Axel with a sheepish smile. "Yeah, so um… why don't you and Roxas go outside and talk and settle this out?"

Axel wasn't sure if there was really anything that needed to be settled out in the first place, but shrugged and followed a quite grumpy Roxas out to the chilling ocean breeze. The studio was built at a beach.

"Look, about what happened last night and this morning…" Roxas started, "I really don't remember. I must've been so drunk that I couldn't possibly remember a thing. I don't even know how I met you in the first place. I only remembered as far as going to the club with my friends and such."

Axel was going to say how good that sounded to him because he was already dating someone else and reminiscence of this incident will only bring nothing but disaster, but then the way Roxas delivered his words, the way he made it sounded like it was some sort of line that he had practiced many, many times before made him say something else.

"Why do I get a feeling that you've said the same thing to more than one person?" He asked instead.

Roxas snapped his head to the redhead, shocked that his ever-working excuse was seen through. No, maybe Axel was too drunk to remember. But Roxas did. He at least remembered being introduced to a redhead at the club and finding him exceptionally attractive. He at least remembered the first time they touched each other in ways people who just met wouldn't. He at least remembered how euphoric that orgasm was compared to the others he'd experienced in years. He didn't have the heart to remember Axel's name at first; but now he certainly can't forget it.

"That's none of your business." Roxas said in denial, looking himself away from Axel. "Just forget that we had any relationships at all before. This is the first time we met."

"Fine with me." Axel shrugged, "It's actually what I want. I'm already dating someone. I don't want to hurt her."

It was then that guilt finally sank into Roxas' heart after all those years of wild one-night-stands. He never thought much about them, only caring about the pleasure those men brought him. Now all of a sudden it felt as if he was a murderer, he felt as if he took away a precious beloved one from someone else on this planet. _Someone else_. A _person_. All those people he slept with before; they could've been someone's husband. They could've been someone's boyfriend. And to think that he so symbolically "took" them away from that "someone", now he really felt like a confessed murderer who was facing the family of the victims.

"Hey are you guys done?" Sora's voice yelled from the gate of the studio, "I would like Axel to meet a few of our photo shoot crew!"

"Oh! Coming!" Axel left Roxas behind, hurrying back to his new manager.

* * *

Roxas spent the next few months in the absence of one-night-stands and sex. He couldn't bring himself to go down to the clubs and meet someone, afraid that the guilty feeling will start bubbling up in him again. Instead he spent his time in a neighborhood community service center taking care of kids he normally hated.

He was walking towards the small building as he saw the flashing sirens of an ambulance. He ran up to the reverend and asked what happened.

"It's Olette." The Father shook his head dejectedly at the girl on the bed which was rolling into the ambulance. "She's an orphan. Her mother passed AIDS onto her. It doesn't seem like she's doing well." One of the nuns broke into sobs when the ambulance door closed solidly. Roxas' stomach grew increasingly queasy as the emergency vehicle drove away. What would happen to that little girl?

The blond walked into the children care center as he did during the other weekends. What was different was the disappearance of the normally gleeful and noisy laughter that always filled this room. Instead Roxas found all the children sitting at the long dining table with a gloomy silence. He walked and squatted next to Hayner, a blond, strong-willed, leader-like child that other kids always looked up to as an example.

"Hayner, are you okay?" Roxas asked softly, careful not to break the delicate atmosphere.

"…" The stubborn child pouted, his hands fisting on his shirt as he tried hard not to cry. When he didn't reply, another girl, Rikku, much younger than any other kids in the room, started sobbing and wailing Olette's name. The heavy atmosphere broke instantly. All the other kids started to lose control of their tears, some weeping quietly and others sobbing loudly like Rikku. Hayner looked up to his friends with his teary eyes and frowned, his mood getting agitated by seconds.

"Shut up!" He yelled, "Shut up! Stop crying! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up…" He was breaking into tears as he trailed off. Roxas, too, could hardly contain himself even though Olette belonged to another wing of the center and he barely knew her.

"Hayner… It's okay…" He hugged the crying boy, other kids leaving their chairs and joining them. "It's okay…" He tried to convince them all; but the truth is he couldn't even convince himself.

* * *

"Yo, Rox. Pick up the damned phone." The voice of Roxas' colleague (and friend), one of Sora's other models, Demyx, ordered impatiently after the beep signal. Roxas stayed motionless in his sofa, hugging a cushion close to himself. "Look, Sora and I are just outside your door. If you won't pick up, we'll just burst right in." To make proof of that, he pounded loudly on Roxas' front door. Growling, the blond slowly made his way from his sofa to the door and opened it, allowing the two males to come in.

"What's your big fucking problem, dude?" Demyx held his hands at his hips in a motherly pose.

"Demyx! Let _me_ do the talking!" Sora shoved Demyx back and sat beside Roxas on his sofa. "Roxas, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, really." The blond looked away, "I just don't feel like working."

"Well you can't just say that!" Sora whined, "People will be held responsible for this! _I_ will be responsible for this! Everybody's waiting for you! Our crew members are waiting for you! Even though you might not need the money, but these people need to eat; they need to work."

Roxas moved his eyes from his cushion to Demyx's stern ones, then to Sora's pleading eyes. With an unwillingly pout and a sigh, he gave in. "Fine."

* * *

Axel was sitting behind the mirror as he waited in the makeup room. His second job was already a collaborative work. And – Axel wonders if this is lucky or unlucky – it was a collaborative work with Roxas of all the models. What's worse was that the blond was still not present in the studio as he and the rest of the crew waited hours upon hours.

Finally the door was opened as light leaked into the darkened studio. Sora, as seen in his usual hustling form, was urging Roxas into the makeup room and pushed him into the chair next to Axel. The brunet proceeded to call a makeup artist who quickly came to start preparing Roxas for the photo shoot. During the entire time this happened Roxas just sat there like an inanimate doll. Axel stared at him and studied him with much curiosity and confusion.

"What are you staring at?" The blond coldly broke the silence when the makeup artist went to get the equipments needed to set Roxas' hair.

"Whoa, what's up with you?" Axel cocked an eyebrow, "I mean, it feels really icy in here. Are you PMS-ing?"

"Fucktard." Roxas scoffed and looked back at his reflection across the mirror.

"Ouch." Axel winced and looked away, having no way to combat the inevitable awkward silence.

"Look, what's your problem, man?" Axel just couldn't shut up. "You come in here late. You act like no one else exists here. And then someone tries to talk to you and you go tell them fuck off. What's wrong with you?"

"Why the hell won't you shut the fuck up?" Roxas stared at him with the most indifferent eyes ever, "You won't understand anyway even if I tell you. Stop pretending like you know how I feel when you don't even know what's going on."

"Oh yeah? Well that's great." Axel swung his arms up in an "I give up!" manner. "Listen, Princess-boy, everyone in this world has a problem, okay? Everyone of us has a goddamn fucking problem. So what? What are you going to do, huh? You have a problem, so are you just going to run away from it? Is that going to help? No! It won't! So stop whining about how messed up your life is and do something about your damn problem!" The redhead was almost yelling by the time he finished.

"Are you done?" Roxas only replied with the same cold voice. "If you're done then please shut up and spare me the torture. You have no idea; things aren't always as simple as you say." He looked away, hiding his eyes that showed the first signs of life since he arrived at the studio, "You don't know…"

Just at that moment the makeup artist returned and explained the things she would do to Roxas' hair. The blond listened mindlessly and Axel decided not to stay, finding it more meaningful to go over the directions with the photographer.

As they began to shoot, however, Axel was forced to face a problem that he, too, had been running away from. Roxas and him had little to no chemistry between them and Roxas' poses were as stiff as an icicle. The photographer was flashing at the rate of almost one picture per minute and frequently calling cut.

Axel bit his lip, finding himself more and more anxious through each frame. He was not going to have his entire career spoiled because some eighteen-years-old kid was PMS-ing! He stuck to his motto: one must take extreme measures during extreme times. He grabbed Roxas' wrist, pulled him closer and rested the product – a bottle of men's fragrance – onto Roxas' shoulder, his own wrist resting over the cap to make sure it wouldn't fall. During this process Roxas was forced to look into Axel's eyes, which revealed all the insecurities and vulnerabilities inside him to the redhead. Instantaneously Roxas looked to the camera to escape Axel's hypnotic gaze and to satisfy the photographer. Slowly Axel started to take control over the posing portion and silently directed Roxas through tugs, pulls, pushes and eye contacts. Roxas, who was lost to begin with, just followed these unspoken instructions without protest. When the shooting was over, Axel sighed in relief after seeing the photographer with a big grin on his aged face.

* * *

Roxas swallowed the lump lodged in his throat as he stepped into the children care center again that weekend. To his surprise, he found the kids in a more cheerful mood than last time. They were hustling around in the room, each of them having something in their hands or was walking to somewhere with a purpose.

"Hey guys." The blond greeted half-curiously, "What are you guys doing?"

"We're making cards and drawings." Pence, a little fat boy, replied, "Father said that Olette woke up in the hospital. We want to send her these things to cheer her up."

Roxas never understood why people called kids "Little Angels" until then. A warm smile spread across his face as he oversaw the children working, paying so much care into each card they made. He then noticed the absence of Hayner.

"Where's Hayner?" His smile dissipated, replaced with an expression of worry.

"He said he was going to buy flowers." Yuna, a dear friend of Rikku's, answered. "Ah! There he is!" She pointed her tiny chubby finger at the older boy who just stepped through the doorframe next to Roxas with a bundle of beautiful flowers in his arms.

"Oh, hi, big brother Roxas." Hayner looked at the other blond, "I was going to wait until you came. But I was really anxious…"

"It's alright, Hayner." Roxas chuckled, messing the boy's hair lovingly, "Just make sure you tell Father before you go next time."

"I did!" Hayner pouted, pushing away Roxas' hand cutely. "Anyway, big brother Roxas, will you help us bring these things to Olette?" He asked with earnest eyes.

"Me?" Roxas blinked. He was replied with an affirmatively nod from Hayner. Immediately he understood the trust and hope that was put onto him, "Sure."

* * *

Roxas stepped steadily down the hallway as he searched for the correct room number, a large paper shopping bag in one hand and the bundle of assorted flowers in the other arm.

"…Oh here it is." He mumbled to himself as he arrived at a door and slid it open. The bed was placed against the wall and Olette was resting in it peacefully, her amplified breathing (by an oxygen mask) accompanied by an oscilloscope's beeping. Roxas stood beside the IV stand, watching as her lashes fluttered open serenely. She looked at the blond with innocent eyes, pondering who he is.

"Hi, Olette." Roxas smiled, grabbing a chair and sat next to her. "I'm Roxas. I'm a friend of Hayner's and Pence's. They made these cards…" He took one out from his shopping bag and handed it to her, "And they asked me to give them to you."

A huge smile grew across Olette's lips. She read the card thoroughly, her eyes starting to sparkle with joy. When she finished, she set down the card, looked at Roxas, and started moving her hands.

"_I can't talk right now."_ Her sign language read, _"I hope you understand sign language."_

Fortunately, Roxas had learned sign language years ago in a camp (it was awful) and he only needed a little picking up on it.

"_That's alright, I do."_ Roxas replied with his hands. Olette's smile grew wider.

"_Are those flowers for me?"_

Roxas looked at the bundle of flowers still in his arm and nodded slightly, standing up to put them into a vase. Meanwhile Olette grabbed the shopping bag herself and started reading the other cards. They remained this way for a while, Roxas watching as Olette read her cards.

* * *

Axel stepped into the room and a grin was immediately plastered onto his face.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked the lady on the bed.

"How bad can I feel? It was just appendicitis." The blonde girl replied matter-of-factly, averting her gaze from the TV to the empty-handed Axel. "You didn't bring me any flowers!"

"It was just appendicitis." Axel shrugged with a smirk and sat next to her, "You don't need flowers."

Larxene rolled her eyes irritably and looked back at the TV. Axel took out his wallet and pulled out a picture from it.

"Your mom gave me this picture." He showed it to her. It was the picture he and Larxene took in an amusement park, their smiles showing their indulgence in each other. "She said the old one with her in it is too weird to put into my wallet."

"But I liked how I looked in that picture." Larxene protested calmly.

"But it's weird, I mean, she's like, right in the middle of us…"

"But I _liked_ how I looked in that picture." Larxene repeated sternly, an uneasy atmosphere growing. After staring into Axel's eyes for a moment, she returned to watching TV and Axel scratched his head in the uncomfortable silence.

"Are you thirsty? I'll go buy something to drink." He stood up, wanting to leave the heavy mood.

"I want Strawberry soda." She said without looking away from the television. Axel looked at her one last time and said, "Okay."

He stepped out of the hospital room and slid the door close, sighing. _I hate awkward silence, _he thought as he ambled down the hallway towards the vending machine.

* * *

Roxas stroke Olette's hair lightly, "Okay, I'll be going, now, alright?"

The girl smiled, nodding weakly. The blond then left the room quietly with his empty shopping bag, sighing as he heard Olette's light coughing behind the door. Why would something so terrible happen to such a lovable child?

Suddenly he felt a pair of eyes staring at him in the front and so he looked up. At that moment it was really hard for Roxas to believe in coincidence. Destined fate would make so much more sense in terms of explaining why Axel was standing there staring at him.

Roxas was unsure whether to go up and say hi or to just pretend he didn't see the redhead at all and walk away. After all, their last encounter had been less than pleasant. But as Axel walked towards him with a positive smile, the chance of him being able to choose the second option seemed less and less.

"Hi." Axel greeted, "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting someone." Roxas looked away, feeling insecure again.

"Same here." Axel shrugged, moving to sit down on one of the installed chairs in the waiting hall. Roxas followed his actions. "My girlfriend, Larxene." Axel threw his thumb towards the room he just came out from, "She came into Emergency because of appendicitis."

"Oh." Roxas murmured quietly.

"What about you?" Axel inquired. "If you don't mind me asking…"

"Oh. Um, it's this girl…" Roxas fidgeted, "She's an orphan from the community center I sometimes work at. She uh… She was born with AIDS."

"I'm sorry." Axel sympathized, watching as the expression on Roxas grew sad.

"No, don't worry about it." The blond shook his head. "It's just… I don't understand. What did she do wrong? Why does she deserve this?" Tears threatened to fall from his large pools of cerulean eyes, "Why would God want to punish her like this?"

Axel didn't know what else to do other than to lend the blond his shoulder to cry on. He observed the way the delicate tears streamed down his round cheeks. There were some people staring at them, but Axel didn't care. Hesitantly, he placed an arm over Roxas' shoulders, patting him understandingly.

* * *

After a prolonged moment of watching the TV, Larxene realized that Axel had been gone for longer than the normal time needed to get drinks. She turned away from the bright moving screen to the door, and then to her side where she found Axel's wallet lying silently on the cupboard.

"Oh, silly Axel!" She sighed, picking up the wallet and pushed herself up from the bed. "How can he buy soda without money?"

She shuffled over to the door, left the room and started down the hallway. Upon reaching the vending machine, though, she did not find Axel. No, instead, she found herself staring at the two men sitting on the waiting hall chairs, looking like a perfect couple heeding to each other during times of grief.

* * *

Ever since the incident in the hospital, Roxas found himself glad to be away from the studio, assured that he would not see Axel. Because he was now losing sleep over the redhead, catching himself daydreaming about Axel and sometimes even masturbating to thoughts of him.

Roxas concluded that, despite the obvious truth, he was just being horny and it would soon be over. So he resorted to working with various artists and photographers, even going overseas sometimes to avoid seeing Axel as much as possible. And luckily for him, Sora hasn't arranged any jobs for him that would include Axel in it.

"Roxas, Roxas." Cid Highwind waved in front of the blond, "Hellooo."

"Huh?" The blond snapped out of his daze and looked up. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Sora called." The photographer said. "He said you have somewhere to go after this. Here." He handed him a piece of paper, "He said you weren't picking up your phone. What's blowing your mind away, boy?"

"Oh, nothing." Roxas grinned sheepishly, "I was just zoning out."

After the photo shoot, Roxas was driven to the address written on the paper. It was another studio. Roxas walked in and found himself in doom almost instantly. It seemed to be a TV commercial job and there were a number of Sora's models there, _including Axel_. Silently cursing Roxas turned to the green room directly, escaping Axel's sightline.

"Roxas, you made it!" Sora greeted him, "Here, get ready. This is your script. You have fifteen minutes to practice it!"

_Damn it_. Roxas thought as he studied the papers hard while staying steady for the makeup artist to "work on" him.

As he got onto the set, though, none of that practice mattered, because he couldn't focus with Axel around. He felt slightly lightheaded and his mind just went blank when the camera rolled and Axel looked into his eyes.

His instability was soon obvious to the rest of the crew as the director grew frustrated and they terminated the filming for a few times due to his inability to deliver the lines. Sora called for a break and asked Roxas to go talk to him, feeling concerned for his friend.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" Sora frowned, "I heard from Cid that you were fine during the photo shoot. What's up with this now?"

"I don't know." The blond sighed, "I can't concentrate."

"I can tell." Sora gave Roxas the "Duh!" expression again, "But why?"

"I think… No…" Roxas started but broke off, "Nah… I don't know."

"What is it?" The brunet was getting impatient.

"Okay! Fine!" Roxas squawked, "I think I'm in love with Axel!"

"You are?" Both Roxas and Sora snapped their heads to the third voice. To Roxas' fright, it was Axel.

"Uh…" Sora shifted his eyes between the redhead and the blond.

Roxas just ran. He ignored Sora's yelling behind him and ducked into the limo that drove him to the studio, ordering the driver to drive him home.

* * *

Axel returned home with question marks written all over his face. He had so many questions once he heard Roxas' confession.

"Axel, did you buy dinner?" Larxene was lying lazily in the sofa, watching TV (again).

"Uh, no, was I supposed to?" He frowned, "Won't you cook dinner?"

"No, I won't." She replied as if it made perfect sense to her, "You're supposed to do this stuff."

"Why?" Axel questioned; Larxene had been more and more unreasonable lately.

"Because," She climbed up and turned to him, "I'm your girlfriend."

Axel slumped his shoulders and looked at her with an "Are you kidding me?" face.

"Don't give me that face!" She frowned, "You have no right to be angry at me!"

"What are you talking about?" Axel defended, sensing a battle up ahead.

"I saw you with that guy!" She yelled, "Crying on your shoulder like that! What's between you guys?"

"He was just a friend!" A "friend" that confessed his love for Axel an hour ago. "He's sad about this girl that has AIDS and I was only comforting him! Is that illegal?"

"Yeah go ahead and make some lame excuse!" The blonde argued.

"Oh so that's what it is now, huh? You don't trust me anymore, huh?" Axel shouted back.

"How am I supposed to trust you?" Larxene backfired, "You were hugging another _guy_!"

"Oh yeah, that's great." Axel shrugged sarcastically, "So you don't trust me. So what's the point of being with me?"

"Now you've said it! So you wanted to break up with me anyway!" Larxene accused.

"What?" Axel squeaked indignantly, "…OH fine! Say whatever you want! Yeah, I wanted to break up with you anyway! I think you're weird and ugly and awkward and…" He was interrupted by a hard slap across the face. Larxene was so pissed to the point that her tears were stuck in her eyes but they wouldn't come out. Axel only realized the awful things he said to her after being stopped by the slap; but it was too late. Larxene started rushing into their room and shoving her belongings hastily into her luggage.

"Wait, Larxene…"

She didn't stop. She just continued packing up and left swiftly without a word except, "I'll get the rest of my things later."

Axel stood in his apartment, stranded in his own dejection.

* * *

The equipments on Olette's body only seemed to increase each time Roxas went to visit. It was hard to simply watch her bearing it. Roxas couldn't believe how much willpower it took Olette to continue living.

"Hey, Olette." He smiled at her, "How are you?"

"_I'm good."_ She replied with her hands, _"I think I could talk a little now."_

"Really?" The blond grinned optimistically, "That's great!"

"It… is." She whispered with a quivering weak voice. Roxas' grin grew wider, causing Olette to smile, too. The blond caress her hair tenderly.

"_Why are you sad?"_ She motioned with her hands. Roxas blinked.

"I'm not sad, Olette. I'm very happy."

"_No. I can tell you are sad." _She insisted, _"What's wrong? Is someone not requiting your love?"_

Roxas was amazed at this girl's ability to observe and estimate. He gave her a sad smile, "I guess you can say that. I'm in love with someone who's already dating someone else."

"_Is she pretty?"_

Roxas chuckled, "Olette, I'm afraid it's a 'he'."

"_He must be very handsome, then."_ She grinned.

"It doesn't matter. He'll never love me back." He sighed and hung his head low. Olette tapped his blond tresses to regain his attention.

"_Just follow your heart."_

* * *

"Alright, Roxas." Sora inhaled nervously, "Don't mess up this time."

Roxas nodded reassuringly, the commercial lines repeating over again and again in his head. He walked to the set before the camera, offering Axel an embarrassed yet truthful smile.

"Okay… action!"

* * *

"That was a blast!" Sora sighed with satisfaction, "Axel could've done better. But he's a rookie, we can cut him some slack." The entire crew laughed, except Axel himself, who forced a smile onto his face. Roxas had noticed his depressed mood during the filming and wondered what the problem was. He followed the redhead when he went outside to catch some air.

"_Someone_ has a problem." Roxas smiled behind Axel. The redhead turned around.

"And somebody's problem is solved." Axel replied. Roxas chuckled, walking to stand next to Axel.

"What's wrong?"

"Larxene." Axel heaved a sigh, "We broke up."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Roxas said honestly, although it might sound hypocritical coming from him.

"It's not your fault. Don't be." Axel squinted his eyes against the breeze, "Our relationship was starting to wither anyway."

"But wasn't it worth it?" Roxas looked at the redhead, "You guys have good memories, don't you?"

"Yeah. Good times." Axel took out his wallet and took out the picture of him and Larxene. "But these are just memories now." He flipped the picture over and inserted it back in, making the picture area a white blank.

"Well, memories are meant to be put aside for the time being." Roxas pulled out his own wallet and took out a resized copy of him and Axel's photo shoot. "But right now, you can fit something new in, right?" He handed the photo to the redhead with a suggestive smirk.

Axel smirked too, taking the picture and inserting it into his wallet. When he finished, he pulled Roxas close, locking lips with him.

* * *

Roxas signed the last box on the form as he was told to and returned the paperwork to the Father with an excited grin. The Father nodded to him and then to a nun, who went through the door and brought a girl into the room.

"Congratulations, Roxas, Axel." The Father announced, "Olette is now your legally adopted child."

The brunet girl ran up to her new parents with a sunshine smile on her face, "Big Brother Roxas!"

"No more 'Big Brother's now, Olette." Axel laughed, "You should call him 'Mommy'."

"Hey! Why am I the girl?" The blond whined, earning laughter from the people in the room.

Before they left, Olette waved goodbye to each child in the center although she would still have lots of chances to come back. Hayner was stubbornly holding back his tears again. Pence laughed and questioned about Olette's disease, which Roxas replied that him and Axel would earn enough money to sustain all the pills and treatments she needed.

As they left, Axel's wedding-ringed hand held Roxas' wedding-ringed hand and Roxas' other hand held Olette's tiny chubby ones, all three of them walking towards a new light…


	8. Breakfast

**Breakfast**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything that's already copyrighted.

Warning: Yaoi, shonen-ai, boy-boy stuff below, AkuRoku.

Summary: Axel believes in love at first sight; Roxas doesn't.

A/N: Happy AkuRoku Day! There was another one-shot I planned on uploading but that retarded computer broke down so I had to write something in 3 days! Yes, and this is what came out. Kudos to my brother for letting me use the laptop (even though it's not his; not like he had authority not to let me, but still).

* * *

Denny's.

Every night – or morning, should we say – at around the same time, the lone diner with its lights illuminating the evanescent shadows of the street before dawn, standing prodigiously in the dark neighborhood when everything else is in slumber, receives a visitor. It is one single shadow, dragged away from the diner by the lights, and it stops before the door, swinging it open expertly. The only waitress on duty, Yuffie, will always welcome this late-night guest with as much hospitality as a girl working from 1am to 8am can muster up. The guest will sit in his "usual spot", meaning the third table from the door's left, and order what he usually orders.

"The usual for tonight?" Yuffie waltzed by her usual customer, a tray in hand and an empty mug of coffee in the other.

"Yeah, what else?" The customer, sleepy in his fair blond hair and blue eyes, replied nonchalantly.

"Roger!" She chuckled and faked a salute as best she could, earning a scowl from the boy.

The sky outside was no longer a simple blanket of black. It morphed into a mixture between navy and dark cerulean. The boy lazily raised his arm, glancing halfheartedly at the time. It was less than a quarter to six. People would certainly start coming into this otherwise lonely diner. If he hadn't been held down long after his hours due to that damned project, he would've been able to have the emptiness and silence of the place all for himself.

"A heartland scramble for you," Yuffie placed down two plates of food, "And your strawberry shake."

"Thanks." The customer sat up straight from his previously groggy position, eyes showing some kind of life sign in front of the appetizing food.

It was his breakfast; a delicacy for undergrad Roxas who stays up for thirteen hours a day and gets only five hours of sleep for that. _Pure bliss_, he thought, as he devoured the omelet with hunger – especially after working overtime without notice beforehand – in his beloved silence. Denny's and silence was God's only gift for his life.

But the latter wasn't about to last for long. As he had foreseen, another person was coming into the diner. He could only hope that this person was as apathetic as everyone on the streets that would leave him alone. Well, who wouldn't anyway? It's not everyday that you walk up to a complete stranger and start talking to him, is it? So with confidence, Roxas continued eating his breakfast, making sure that he was concentrating on and only on the dish before him. Let's hope the stranger would do the same.

He _did_ mention that Denny's was the _only_ thing God had done him good.

"Hey there, lovely." The cushion chair just a table across from him gave a defeated huff as the stranger sat down on it imprudently. The blond looked up, met green eyes, and growled before returning to his food.

"My name's not 'lovely', and I don't know you." He said, popping a neatly cut piece of sausage into his mouth.

"I'm Axel. Now you do." The stranger – _Axel_ placed his chin into his palm and continued staring at the boy playfully, "And if you don't want me to call you 'lovely' or 'babe', then give me a name to call you."

Roxas rolled his eyes. When had suiting become so blunt and easy? Furthermore, when was the last time even a _heterosexual_ girl found a _heterosexual_ guy trying to woo her with shitty pick-up lines like these? Not to mention that this person, _Axel_, was a male and certainly knew that he was hitting on _another_ male… did he?

"Look, I'm not a person you'd want to do this on." He lowered his fork and knife a little, "Go hit on Yuffie, the waitress, or someone else."

"Don't swing that way." Axel said unequivocally. So he _did_ know that Roxas was a guy! Now what would Roxas do? He was certainly not going to reveal his name, so he must find some way to shoo this Axel away.

"I don't care." Roxas resumed eating, "You're proposing one thing, and my answer is no."

"You don't believe in love at first sight, do you?" Axel remained unmoving on his spot. It was really getting under the blond's skin.

"No, certainly not." Roxas nodded to himself unknowingly, and then looked up sharply. "And I advise you not to."

It was then he realized that Yuffie was placing a cup of coffee down before Axel. When had that man ordered – that's not the point – now Yuffie thinks Roxas knows him!

"Yuffie, check please. I've had enough for tonight." Roxas said with danger and refusal hidden in his words. Avoiding Axel's eyes, he grabbed his messenger bag and left his table, walking to where Yuffie was standing to pay her.

"You're not going to give me your name?" Axel stood up quickly, but for some reason he didn't dare advance to the boy.

"No, and good night." Roxas hurried out of the diner into the street that was still covered in darkness despite the growing light in the sky. The blond thought he was saved, for he'd never see this creepy man again as long as he didn't work overtime.

Axel slumped back into his seat dejectedly. Yuffie came along with plates of his breakfast and chuckled.

"Giving up already?" Amusement was in her voice.

"No, but…" He mingled with the coffee spoon in his fingers, "Something's special about him. I don't know… I've been with so many but none like him." He looked up and met her amused eyes, "Say, do you know who he is?"

"Yeah." The waitress nodded her head reasonably, "He usually comes and leaves before you do. Very routinely, actually. It's like you guys are destined to never meet each other until today." She laughed, "Well, I guess something happened today so he's later than usual."

"Do you know his name?"

"Yes," Her voice was lowered a little seductively, "But are you sure you want me to spoil that, or do you wanna try again yourself?"

Axel thought for a second, "I'll try again. But… you don't happen to remember when he comes, do you…?"

A smile crept onto Yuffie's face, "Oh I do, actually…"

* * *

Roxas barely made it out of the research center before the professor could make him stay again. _Hello no I'm not going to go through the same thing I did yesterday_. He marked bitterly as he walked down the truly pitch dark street. The lights of Denny's were just a few yards away, and he praised God in his little heart as he approached closer to his sanctuary…

God. Can. Die.

Ignoring the fact that gods are immortal, Roxas cursed God the hardest he ever had in his life. Sitting there at _his_ table, on _his _chair, was the morning nightmare he went through yesterday, undisturbed with that head of flaming red hair. Unwilling to face another encounter, Roxas simply turned away and started heading for his home without ever setting foot onto Denny's.

_Why is he there?_ Roxas cursed again and again as he strode across the broad street. Axel was supposed to show up at a quarter to six, not at five in the morning!

* * *

The "nightmare" did not go away for the following days. Every time Roxas got near the diner, Axel was there. Not eating anything, maybe drinking a cup of coffee, but not eating, and seemed to be waiting for him. And every time, Roxas would have to turn away from his sanctuary in fear of having to talk to the man. He hadn't eaten breakfast in Denny's for days, and it was killing him.

_I can't let that stalker go on like this!_ Today Roxas didn't turn away from the diner. He bravely walked in, much to Axel's delight, and sat across from the redhead.

"You didn't show up for a few days." Axel said cheerfully, "I was starting to give up hope."

"You should." Roxas glared. "What do you want? Stop following me like this! You're creepy!"

"I just want to know who you are." Axel said with a whiny voice.

"Why?"

"Because!" Axel flailed his arms helplessly, and slumped with a huff, "That morning when I saw you, it was like… I don't know how to say it. It's like magic. Everything in my life just started to make sense."

Roxas stared at Axel with dismissive eyes. "You mean…"

"I fell in love with you on first sight!" Axel chuckled like a hopeless madman would. "I know it sounds stupid, like some cheesy pick-up line. And maybe it is. But it's the only way I can express how I feel."

Roxas shivered slightly. To think that someone was swooning over him beyond his knowing was… disturbing, but there was also a funny feeling. "Roxas."

"Huh?"

"My name's Roxas. Happy?" He stared at the man. "Now will you stop showing up everyday here like a stalker?"

Axel's expression was one mixed of newfound happiness and shocking pain. Roxas sat resolute against that face.

"I'm hated, aren't I?" Axel scratched his head half-sheepishly, half-embarrassedly. Somehow the way he said those words made Roxas soften a little. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Roxas."

_He's really going to leave?_ Roxas asked internally, no longer sure if he should be happy or shocked by Axel's reaction as he watched the redhead stood up. He didn't stop Axel, be it because he wanted the man to leave or he had neither the courage nor the face to do so. Yuffie trailed her eyes after her other usual customer curiously as she approached the seated blond.

"The usual for today?" She asked.

"No." Roxas sighed. "I'll check for his coffee."

"Alright." The waitress nodded perplexedly and turned around. Roxas heaved another sigh, looking out into the pitch black night. Somehow, he could imagine Axel's shadow, weaving in and out between the darkness of the night and the artificial light provided by the dim street lamps.

* * *

Roxas approached Denny's the next night to find it empty as per before he met the redhead. He was glad, yet a guilty feeling was bubbling underneath it all. He sat down on his seat and ordered his usual. Everything seemed to be back to normal.

"Yuffie, yesterday night… Was I really mean?" He circled the straw absentmindedly in the milkshake as the waitress sat down across from him for a brief break.

"Well, I don't know what happened between you guys, but…" She flicked something off her nails, "I'd say I've never seen him been so gray."

The bubbling feeling was boiling. "Huh. Well, he _was_ the one to start stalking me at first." Roxas picked up his fork, but stopped midway stabbing it into his pancake. "But how did he know when I come here usually? I met him the first time only because I came out late…"

Yuffie retracted her hands and sat back languidly, trying to hide her sheepishness.

"Yuffie…" Roxas' face turned dark and his voice became low.

"I just thought it'd be a great chance for you to get something interesting out of your life." The girl shrugged timidly.

"Why would I want to do that? I'm happy with my life."

"You don't seem to be." Yuffie pointed out, "I mean, look at you, Roxas! You're a college student but you work five-hours night shifts at a _research center_, and you spend all your other hours sleeping, eating or studying. You don't go out with your friends, you don't party; all you could ever fit into your life were things like working hard so you can graduate and move on with your life and get a good job and all that other _futuristic_ stuff." She played around with her fingers, "Now that I think of it, the poor guy never stood a chance."

Roxas was silent. The boiling feeling had begun evaporating and slipped out of the bottom of his heart. It had floated up and above all other bliss or gladness he felt. He was thinking, as Yuffie slipped out of the seat, about Axel and that image of his face, hurt yet composed. He couldn't fight away the picture, for he was the one that inflicted the pain on this stranger.

* * *

Denny's was empty around Roxas' time for the following days. The blond was happy about it – supposedly. But beyond happiness he found another emotion. He didn't know how to describe that emotion – or should we say, he didn't want to admit it. Even so, Yuffie sometimes said more than just the names of Roxas' dish, and when she did, he'd go after her for more. Subjectively speaking, Roxas wanted some conversation; objectively speaking, he wanted to know more about Axel.

"You should come later one day." Yuffie said, waiting for Roxas' receipt from the machine. "Then you can talk to him yourself."

"No way." Roxas declined immediately, sucking out from his shake. "He's already crept me out once. I think that's enough."

"You never know something until you've tried it." Yuffie said suggestively, tearing the receipt out with a snap. "Here. Just in case you didn't want to talk to him one-on-one."

Roxas crooked his brows confusedly at the girl while taking the receipt. He didn't realize what she meant until he was out of the diner and took a glance at the piece of paper in his hand. Written clearly in one of the many spaces of a normal receipt was a series of numbers. Roxas rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation, turning back to Yuffie who winked at him. What was she hoping to achieve by giving him Axel's number?

* * *

Roxas didn't live in the dormitories, not after three years into college. And his nocturnal daily schedule would've given his roommate trouble and perplexity – or at least he thought so. He lived in an apartment – well, a part of it. An entire unit was divided into three parts, and he lives in one of them, his rent a partial payment for the whole thing's rent. It can be said to be sort of like the dormitories, except that it allows greater freedom and Roxas didn't necessarily have to "put up" with any roommates. Privacy rules. _Pure bliss._

And privacy came into play greatly especially tonight as he slumped onto his bed, his azure eyes fixating on the receipt in his hand.

_Call Axel?_ Two voices in Roxas' head asked, one curious and one derisive. What could he say if he did? It would only make Roxas look bad, calling the redhead after declaring clearly that he had no interest in the man. Plus, Roxas rarely ever even call his friends, so who was Axel for Roxas to call?

Dismissing the idea, Roxas threw the paper carelessly somewhere onto his desk. Sleep sounded much better a plan to him than arguing with himself whether or not to dial the damn number.

* * *

Roxas' life had returned to "normal" until one morning he went to Denny's as usual. Only that this time, the "nightmare" had returned. Roxas didn't falter, but stepped into the diner as per usual. He sat down across from Axel, and for once he didn't mind it so much.

"Sorry to show up on you like this…" The redhead scratched his head sheepishly.

"It'll be better if you explain why." Roxas asked, and winced for that sounded more like a demand than a humble request. Somehow he's got a bad feeling for what was to come.

"I just want to come here to say goodbye to you." Axel picked up his coffee cup and sipped.

"Goodbye?" Defiance was replaced with bewilderment. "Why? Are you… going somewhere?"

"Yeah." The redhead nodded. "My brother is getting married off to God knows where. Now my old man wants me to go back and 'inherit the family business'." Axel's sentence ended in disdain and sarcasm.

"So you're… never coming back?"

"Who knows?" He shrugged, looking off into the dark night and the velvet sky. "A guy like me, reckless and wild. I don't think I'd be able to stand being tied down with business for too long."

Roxas stared at Axel, trying hard to decipher the emotion in the man's piercing emerald eyes. But he got drowned in his own emotion, as his eyebrows knitted together in some sort of pain and his eyes were welled with unshed tears.

"What do you mean 'who knows'?" He suddenly stood up, shocking both Axel and Yuffie who was minding her own business a few tables away.

"Well… Dude, what's the problem?"

"Well, you can't just…" Roxas was biting nails and stuttering as he sank further into confusion. "You can't just come in here and say whatever you feel like saying! And then just leave so irresponsibly!"

"What's the matter?" Axel chuckled half-confusedly, "It's not like we were ever meant to meet each other anyway."

The blond's fury stopped and he let his mouth open a little, "Wha…?"

"Yuffie told me about you. About how you always come in at around five and leave before I even got anywhere near here." Axel gazed into Roxas' eyes sincerely, "If it weren't for that morning, for God knows what reason, when you came in late, we'd never know each other. We'd be strangers passing shoulders, missing each other just for those fifteen minutes for our whole lives." _And those fifteen minutes were enough to let you steal my heart from me_, Axel didn't dare to add.

Roxas found no words to reply with. Why was he so concerned anyway? Shouldn't he be happy, now that Axel was finally moving out of the neighborhood and possibly would never see him again? Now Roxas wouldn't have to worry about any creepy stalker coming into Denny's, his sanctuary, to follow his tail. He should be happy.

But he was not.

"It really was nice meeting you, Roxas." Axel sighed, standing up from his seat. "I wish I didn't act like such an idiot the first time I saw you. Then you probably won't hate me so much. But do know that you're something to me. Gah, I'm sounding creepy again…" He chuckled, picking up the bill left on the table by Yuffie. "Goodbye."

Roxas didn't know why, but he really, really wanted to stop Axel at that moment. He couldn't, though, his legs wouldn't budge and his lips refused to open. He hated how it turned out like this; how he had spoken less than fifty sentences with this man but couldn't even bear imagining Axel being away. How did it turn out like this?

* * *

The day's morning was coming by the time Roxas had gone home and collapsed onto the bed. He had two hours for sleep before classes start but he doubted he could get any. Axel's voice wouldn't stop ringing in his head and he couldn't efface the image of the man's face from his mind. Roxas sighed, and kicked off his shoes, sitting up to remove his bag from his shoulder. His eyes then caught onto something, a small corner of white under piles of opened college textbook and notebooks.

_What is that…?_ He leaned forward and pulled at it. Then immediately he remembered.

_Just in case you didn't want to talk to him one-on-one._

He pulled his knees to his chin and stared at the small piece of paper. The numbers written in ink remained clear. With doubt, he picked out his cell phone and entered those numbers accordingly; then he was torn in between pressing "dial" or "save".

_You never know something until you've tried it._

_Gah, screw you, Yuffie._ Roxas cursed in his mind as he pressed 'dial' and placed the phone to his ears. Every ring seemed to intimidate the blond further, forcing him to hug up like a baby-bear.

"You've got your sexy friend Axel." _What an… __**unusual**__ greeting._

"H-Hi." Roxas instantly punched himself up mentally. _What "Hi"? It should be "I got your number from Yuffie"!_

"Roxas?" Axel lowered his legs from his desk and asked with a frown. Then he beamed. "Roxas! I never thought you'd call!"

"What…?" Roxas squeaked confusedly.

"I left my number to Yuffie to give it to you." Axel was smiling ear-to-ear. "She said you took it, but you never called."

"Oh." Roxas mumbled. "Well, I… Is it okay if we talk for a while?"

"Of course. Anytime."

"I just wanted to… talk with you a little more, before you go…" The blond gulped, his fingers fidgeting with the receipt.

"Oh. Sure. What do you want to know?" Axel hid the pain from his voice.

"Like, who _are_ you…?"

Axel's eyebrows furrowed and he placed his legs back onto his desk. "I'm Axel. 25 years old. Got a brother who's getting married and parents that have vacuum minds."

"Don't you work?" Roxas crossed his legs for a more comfortable position.

"I do, actually. If I didn't have to go back, I'd still be working at that bookstore down a few blocks."

"Bookstore?" The blond couldn't help but giggle. "That doesn't sound like what you'd want to do."

"No, sir." Axel chuckled. "I've always wanted to be those guys at a filming studio that make bombs, you know? Like the explosions you see in a movie and how some people make those things? I wanna be like them."

"Why?"

"Because then I can blow things up." The redhead laughed heartily. "But… ah. Didn't even get anywhere near that before I gotta go. Hah."

"Axel…" Roxas felt as if he could see Axel's eyes and the regret in them. "W-When are you… leaving?"

"In six days." Axel leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "I knew I had to go before I met you, but… you were just too cute to pass up."

"…Asshole." The blond grumbled. So Axel just had to purposely approach him and talk to him and make him fall… wait.

"I am, so sue me." Axel picked a piece of potato chip and popped it into his mouth. Then something he didn't want to actually say slipped. "I love you too much."

A silence befell upon them. Roxas' heart was cringing while Axel was trying to find words to resume the conversation. The blond listened to the incoherent stutters Axel made on the other side as something quite aberrant yet magical happened to him.

"W-Well, I mean…" Axel finally managed to say, "As if you didn't know that already… Haha…"

Roxas chuckled, but that triggered a sniff afterwards and he had to wipe away the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Roxas?" Axel frowned with concern, "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah." The blond sniffed hard one more time and looked up at the ceiling, "I was just thinking that I should call you more often. You know, before you really go. It's the least I can do…"

"Awww…" Axel grinned, "You're sweet."

"Shut up." Roxas growled, earning more laughter from the redhead. The blond highly doubted that Axel had realized what the true meaning behind his words was. But then again, maybe Roxas was still too defiant to let Axel know that true meaning.

* * *

Calling Axel became something Roxas looked forward to for the passing days. As they talked, Roxas found out more and more about the man. Although Axel was quite an idiot and sometimes a jerk, he was nothing short of a good man with passion. His cocky exterior was just a way he used to hide what he truly held inside, which he salvaged for "the one for him", who Axel still believed was none other than Roxas.

Then there came the night before the final day. Like a ghost who lingered in the human world, Axel had an unfulfilled wish. So when time came for their "phone call session", he was determined to voice it out.

"So, have you packed everything already?" Roxas asked for a start, crossing his legs on his bed.

"Yeah. Done that a long time ago." Axel answered as he played idly with a pen's button.

"There's nothing you'd leave behind?" Sometimes even Roxas himself thinks that he sounds like a mother.

"Nothing except you." Axel's pathetic pick-up line attempts no longer bothered the blond.

"Don't be an idiot." Roxas said, but he was rather enjoying Axel's small sweet-talk. "So, no regrets?"

"Actually, there is one thing I'd like to do at least for once in my life." Axel put down the pen and sat up, "But I'd need your help with it."

For some reason Roxas had a presentiment about the coming request.

"Will you be willing… to be my lover, for just one day?" Axel looked at the clock; it was currently 7:30am of Wednesday, August 13th. His final day. "Just one day. Then we'll probably never see each other again. It'll be like it never happened; no one will know."

Roxas thought deeply for a moment. _Just one day, huh? Like it never happened. I can do whatever I want to do._ "Today?"

"Yeah, if that's okay."

"…" The blond fidgeted with his fingers, "Hm… Okay. Just today."

Even though Roxas couldn't see it, Axel did a small victory dance. It was like Heaven on Earth for him.

"Then I'll pick you up at nine, is that okay?" His face was beaming vibrantly, his smile stretching wide across.

Roxas made a small humming sound before hanging up. Now he would have to call school for a day off and start preparing himself.

* * *

Axel borrowed his friend's car to drive to Roxas' place. Surprisingly the blond was already waiting on the street before the gate of the apartment building. A grin immediately spread across the redhead's face as he pulled up in front of his beloved blond.

_It's just for today, Roxas. So do what you've always wanted to do but somehow didn't._ Roxas' mind told himself when he grabbed the door handle and went into the vehicle.

"Hey, Rox-"

Axel was cut short for his lips were being pressed against by the blond's. He froze and everything in his world froze along. His eyes were wide, his breath stopped, and he forgot how to think.

Roxas pulled away after a while. He had to chuckle amusedly at Axel's expression. Since it was just for today, he'd admit it; he had always wanted to kiss Axel, to date him, or maybe even to love him, if he doesn't already. Yuffie was right; he was so drowned in his prosaic life that he had forgotten what he was living for, until Axel showed up that morning. Axel was the missing color in the masterpiece of his life. It took him some time to realize that, but now was better than never.

"So where are we going?" Roxas asked half-timidly. Being stared at by Axel like that was really awkward.

"O-Oh." Axel snapped back into reality, "Let's go get some breakfast first."

For the first time in years, Roxas didn't have breakfast in Denny's. Surprisingly, though, that coffee shop's cheesecake was quite delicious. It turned out that Axel sometimes alternated between Denny's and this café for breakfast. Somehow Roxas was a little convinced and considered putting the shop onto his "breakfast list".

After that, Axel claimed to have more places to go for the rest of the day, but refused to disclose any of them to the blond. Despite the childishness, Roxas found Axel's Keep-It-A-Secret plan kind of cute. Since it was a date for Axel, why not let him decide?

They ended up arriving at an amusement park. A little typical to be expected of Axel, but Roxas was happy nonetheless (He wouldn't admit it, but as long as it was with Axel, anywhere would be fine). Exuberance and joy welcomed them as they walked further towards the entrance. In an impulsive effort to get Axel to walk faster, Roxas grabbed the redhead's hand, and Axel didn't let go until they rode on a roller coaster. Still, Roxas could, with no more denial or hesitation, reconnect their hands together as they went to see those silly pictures taken of them during the exhilarating ride.

It took them until about half past 6pm to have gone on most of the exciting entertainments. The sky was growing darker and darker, while the lights of the city glowed; but Axel's plan had not yet been completed. Firmly holding Roxas' hand, he brought the blond back to the car and started off for another place.

They went to a restaurant for dinner. It was dim and quiet, like one of those settings seen in a romance movie. Roxas was a little amused, to say the least, for he didn't expect Axel to be such a romantic person. Nevertheless, they dined together under the candlelight while Axel couldn't stop glancing towards the blond. It was almost as if Roxas was some kind of enigmatic, divine and angelic being. At some point Roxas was embarrassed even in his own skin, blushing light pink and smiling the teeniest bit.

When the day was almost over, they drove back to Roxas' place. It was then Roxas' heart went up to his throat, as he realized this would be final. He exited the car uncertainly, ambling up past the gate alone. At the grand door, he looked back at Axel. He didn't want it to just end like this. Axel's eyes had been following the blond's back, and when the boy turned around, their eyes locked and they had the longest moment of motionlessness.

Feeling somehow guilty for all of this, Axel got out of the car and went up to the blond.

"Good night." Axel tried to smile. "Thanks for agreeing to go out on this date… and making it remarkable for me. It really was a stupid request, wasn't it? How can I ask you to pretend to love me when you don't…?"

"I didn't pretend." Roxas frowned.

"Huh?"

"This whole day," The boy continued, "It's all real. I didn't pretend any part of it. I really was there with you, Axel, laughing and smiling. Every second of it was real."

"You mean…" Astonishment came as the truth dawned on Axel. "You really… loved me?"

"Yes, and still do." For some reason now Roxas felt like crying, "It's all your fault, coming up and barging into my life like that…"

He didn't get to finish for Axel stepped out to embrace him. When they pulled apart, Roxas was completely lost in Axel's eyes. And they kissed, first hesitantly, then passionately; then Roxas confirmed that he… was in love.

* * *

Fingers stroke fair and golden spikes gently; they were soft just as Axel predicted. His lips planted feather-light kisses on the forehead, his other free hand wrapping over Roxas' waist. The bed was terribly small for two people and they were sharing the blanket, but Axel wouldn't mind so much for what he got in return.

"I wish today would never end." He whispered tenderly into the blond's ear. Goosebumps grew on Roxas' already exposed skin despite the warmness of his blanket as he shivered at Axel's voice.

"Then don't go." Roxas moved his hand to play with a turf of Axel's fire tresses. Every movement was exchanged delicately between them.

"You know I can't do that." Axel chuckled bitterly, taking Roxas' much smaller hand in his. He would remember every single angle and curve of Roxas' body because he knew he couldn't stay by the time morning came.

"Then I'll wait for you." Even the blond couldn't believe he was saying such romantic words. The things love can do to a person… "Promise me you'll come back someday."

"Give me a year." A kiss was placed on Roxas' hand. "I'll sort everything out by then. I'll come back and even go to your graduation."

"Exactly one year from today, August 13th, then." Roxas hugged the redhead, pressing their bare skin together, "Let's have breakfast together at Denny's that morning."


	9. Murdering Romance

**Murdering Romance**

Disclaimer: Don't own KH characters.

Warning: gay love, language, AkuRoku, violence below.

Summary: Put a man who wants to die and a man who has to kill together, and you get something incredible.

* * *

.x.X. Step 1 .X.x.

The sky dimmed under the silvery clouds with rain faintly grazing over. He sat silently on the stained bed in the dirty room, pained and suffering. One hand grabbed his other one, perpetuating the grimace on his face. Life was draining slowly away from his blurry eyes; yet for a moment they skimmed towards a worn and cut piece of photo on the bedside dresser.

It was the photo his mother gave him a long time ago—a picture of him when he was still a baby. He always kept it in his wallet ever since. The grayscale ignored the goldenness in his hair, and the deep blue in his eyes. He turned it over and choked with tears. His mother's script handwriting was still there, albeit the ink was fading. "May God bless this child", her voice rang in his head.

He laughed. He never believed in God. Not after what had happened. He laughed in his scorn at his mother's foolish faith in that damned figure who couldn't even save her. He scoffed it all.

So led him to find the release he was getting now. He stared at the fluid slowly coming out of the cut, dripping and landing onto the dirty carpet. Finally he would be free of all his suffering. He would find his afterlife waiting in glory for him; Heaven in the sky and his family welcoming him at the gate.

Unfortunately his merry trip to Heaven was interrupted abruptly. With a quick jerk the door was opened by a stranger and quickly closed again. The stranger first didn't notice him, thinking that he had entered an empty room. Then he was startled by the blond sitting on the bed.

With another quick motion a pistol was jerked out. The blond jumped, alarmed. Neither of them said a word; the stranger pointed the unfriendly dark hole of the barrel at the blond.

Suddenly the stranger almost pounced onto the blond. The stranger's big hand closed over the fragile, dying boy's mouth before the latter could let out a whimper. The gun subsequently was pressed right beside the blond's face. His blue eyes never left the weapon.

Some rushing footsteps passed by outside the room as the stranger concentrated on the thin line of light pouring from the corridor and shadows whipping by from the running legs. The stranger then let go of the blond, retreating back a few feet. There was blood all over them, mixing and smearing so that they couldn't distinguish whose blood it was. The stranger immediately seemed to be looking for something around the room.

"Th' hell are you?" The blond asked.

"'ey lay off or I'm gonna pop your head open!" The stranger turned back to him, pistol aimed at the blond's head. The blond finally took time to notice that he had red hair. Very bluntly, overtly red hair.

The blond closed his eyes. "Shoot me."

The stranger dropped his mouth open. "What?"

"Kill me." The other repeated, "I was going to kill myself anyway. Might as well get the job done faster."

The stranger looked down at the blond's bleeding arm. The crimson liquid was smeared all over. The cut seemed fairly deep, but only enough for a slow death. He gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on his pistol. The boy looked young—very young. About twenty, if not less.

There was a click and the blond opened his eyes back up.

The stranger had his back turned to him as he rummaged through the closet in the room. The blond was disappointed and gulped. The redheaded stranger pulled out an old piece of cloth and began to wrap it around his gun. He knotted the piece together and was ready to throw it out of the room's window. He halted midway, eying the blond out of the corner of his green eyes.

With a groan he untied the cloth and approached the blond. The latter cowered away but the redhead grabbed the bleeding arm and pulled it forcefully. They moved into the room's bathroom and the stranger opened the faucet to run hot water over the cut.

A moan that sounded like a rumble of anguish and whimper of old age tore out of the blond's lips. The sink turned pink with blooded water. The stranger stared at the cleaning wound until it was washed to an acceptable level of quarantine and tied the cloth around the cut.

The blond growled with darkened eyes, "What'd you do that for?"

"I just had a buddy killed in front of me. Now you keep your life for the sake of him." The redhead said, and then, as if an afterthought, added, "Or you'll get it from me."

The blond stared at him. "Who _are_ you?"

"Axel." He pulled his bloody shirt over himself and wrapped it around the gun, and then he pulled a piece of bed sheet and wrapped it around the bundle again. Finally he tossed it out of the window into the dumpster at the bottom of the street. "And you?"

The blond stared at Axel a little skeptically. "…Roxas."

.x.X. Step 2 .X.x.

Hours passed and Axel was still in Roxas' room. Police had gathered around the hotel building and were searching floor-to-floor for investigation. Roxas knew Axel was somebody that he shouldn't be involved with but he couldn't care. He was busy brooding over what he would do now that he got his life back. It would seem pointless to try and kill himself again, plus the thought itself was mollifying enough.

"Say, why'd you want to kill yourself?" Axel asked, sitting on the floor across from Roxas on the bed. Roxas looked up from his finger poking at the cloth and glared.

"It's none of your business."

"You might wanna start changing your attitude talking to Capone's men-" Axel blurted out carelessly.

"So you _are_ the one the police are looking for." Roxas slipped his eyes back to his injured arm. "No wonder you won't leave."

"'ey watch your tongue." Axel howled. The next moment that Roxas looked up a high-pitched bang burst out. A sparkle flew off somewhere in the corner of the room and Axel cursed loudly. Roxas was clueless as to what happened but the redhead went up and pushed him down so that they were both ducking. Next time around louder and clearer bangs were heard. The shots were in short spurts in between pausing windows. Axel's breathing was labored and came in short puffs beside Roxas' ear.

"Fuck." He swore. "We've got to go for the door."

"I'm not going with you." Roxas said. "And there are police out there!"

"They'd be around the block looking for the bastard trying to kill us now." Axel panted. "And they'll be looking for you anyway so you better just come with me."

"What? But-" Axel didn't give Roxas time to finish his sentence as the redhead dragged the blond towards the door during one of the windows. Cold air rushed to Axel's skin as he ran down the dimly lit corridor, Roxas pulled right behind him by the wrist.

Through the winding hallways and doors they went down by the back staircase. It was wet and cold outside. Filthy water puddles smacked against Roxas' bare feet. Axel led him around the back alleys of the town like a snake who knew its nest. They arrived at a rusted door and slithered into the underground world unknown.

.x.X. Step 3 .X.x.

It was fairly loud down underground at the speakeasy. Roxas had never been in one before. He was raised by considerably "clean" parents, in a considerably "clean" neighborhood. The air was hot, and he was crammed in a small smoking booth with Axel. The redhead before him faced away from him, and under the glare of the concentrated halogen light Roxas could make out bruises all over his back.

The warm air made it harder to breathe. Roxas puffed in gusts to keep up with his lungs. Axel crackled.

"Too hot for you?" Axel threw a glance over his shoulder. Roxas gulped and shook his head weakly.

"Am I ever going to be able to go back to my original life?" He asked, casting his eyes down.

"You chose to die." The redhead reminded as he put on a shirt. "That Roxas is dead now. So is Axel. They got shot."

Roxas looked up at the man perplexedly. Axel threw him a smile and opened the door of the booth. Cool air welcomed Roxas into a world of dancing; of joy and entertainment. Axel expertly walked around the tables, arriving at a standing bar.

"I'm on the lam." He said to the bartender and placed a bill, "Hit me."

A cocktail glass soon found its way into Axel's hand. Moments ago Roxas wouldn't have cared if Axel would get drunk off of anything and died at a corner of the street. But now he was stuck with the man and his curiosity began to grow on him.

"What would you do now?" The blond asked.

"You mean what would 'we' do now." Axel corrected him. "You're stuck with me, kid. Unless you wanna die quick, you'd better come with me."

"To where?" Roxas crossed his arms. "And don't forget that I _did_ once choose to die. I could do the same again."

"Just to get rid of me? Naw you won't." Axel smirked, waving the drink in front of Roxas' face. "We could go south, you know, get out of Chicago. Or East to New York, if you want."

"And what would we do then?"

"I don't know. Split up maybe." Axel shrugged, watching flappers dance in the center of the dance floor. "You can't rebuild your life with me at your tail—if you want to rebuild it, that is."

Roxas groaned and leaned on the bar. "Why'd you save me? None of this would be such a headache if you just let me die!"

"Be grateful now, you little brat." Axel rolled his eyes. "It'll be worth it, trust me."

Roxas wanted to retort the man. He wanted to tell him every reason why he thought it wouldn't be worth it. He wanted to tell him just how fucked up his life was that no amount of effort could rebuild it. But he was cut off from his luck when a commotion began behind the curtain at the front of the store.

"Bulls 're coming." Axel grabbed his hand and pulled him into the back. Quickly they were running again, out of the speakeasy and into the soft raining again. Roxas' feet were still bare and cold. It was beginning to feel icy. They slowed to a walk when they were out of the bar's range and Roxas stopped.

"Axel, my feet are cold." He didn't look at the man in the eyes, but instead his golden lashes fluttered downcast. Axel's heart tweaked and he sighed. He turned around and lowered his body so that Roxas could climb onto him for a piggyback.

"If guys back at boss's saw me like this I'd never live through another day." Axel laughed. The sidewalk in front of them seemed to stretch infinitely. Roxas had a feeling that it would be a long and lonely road, and they had only each other's warmth to cling onto in this gently showering coldness.

.x.X. Step 4 .X.x.

It had been three months since they allegedly ran away from police pursuit—or at least, Axel did. Roxas found a job and was staying at some run-down hotel, again. Axel somehow managed to find out Capone's smaller organization in the town and spent most of his days there, even though he stayed in the same room with Roxas. The blond at first grudgingly accepted, having no other reason than Axel's saving of his life. But the redhead so far hadn't brought Roxas into any trouble and quite frankly, the blond enjoyed the company.

Sometimes Axel was so funny he didn't seem like a gangster at all. Like how he was popping peanuts into his mouth as he read the newspapers in his hands. Roxas chuckled upon seeing him, and then shivered for the air was cold. He dried his wet hair with a towel and lined up his shoes at the edge of the bed.

"What's so funny?" Axel asked.

Roxas shrugged, "Nothing." He climbed into bed and snuggled away from the coldness. "It's cold."

"Sure thing." Axel sipped the last of his coffee. "Can I sleep in the bed tonight?"

Roxas blinked. "What? You mean, together?"

"Yeah, together." Axel stared into him. The blond shrugged and nodded. "Alright."

The redhead turned off the lights and quickly made himself comfortable in the warm blanket. A bed was much better than the cold floor, after all. They lied back to back, neither getting any actual sleep. Moonlight poured in through the small dirty window. Roxas breathed with deliberate delicateness.

"Axel… you asleep?"

"No." Came the quiet reply.

"How many times, do you think, will we be like this, together?"

"I don't know." A shift of weight came as Axel moved. Roxas bit his lip. Axel could never be too promising, especially with his job in the way.

"How did you become the way you are, Axel?"

"It's a long story." The redhead sighed. "I met some people. They taught me stuff. Stuff I wasn't supposed to know at my age. All in all somehow I wound up being here." A bright splinter of moonlight flared from his eyes. "What about you? How'd you become suicidal?"

"I fought in the war." Roxas whispered lowly, just enough to be heard. "'The war to end all wars'. It ended more than just that." He collected his breath, "I went away being the proud son of my father and my mother. I still remember saluting to them in my new uniform at the train station. And then I was sent to England. And when I came back they weren't there anymore."

"Disease?"

"German U-boats." Roxas said with an abhorrent loathing. "They wanted to come see me. I told them not to. They said the navy wouldn't attack passenger ships. I should've gone back so they wouldn't come. I've lost it all, Axel. I've lost everything in my life."

"Roxas, it's not your fault." Axel rasped out in his coarse voice and patted Roxas on the head. "They must've been really proud of you."

Roxas shrunk away from Axel's touch. The redhead sighed and didn't insist. "Try to get some sleep, Roxas."

"Thanks…" Roxas replied weakly. "You too, Axel."

.x.X. Step 5 .X.x.

One day Axel came back exploding into the room with a hurried face. Roxas jumped and looked up at him.

"I've got to go." Axel moaned out.

"Where?" Roxas inquired.

"Chicago."

Roxas couldn't say anything in reply. He didn't even want to remember that place he came from. He glanced away.

"Capone wants me back for a job—for something." The redhead continued shakily. "I don't know what it is. I-"

"You may not make it back?" Roxas tried his best to hide the quivering.

"Maybe." Axel sighed. Roxas heaved and stood up, turning away from Axel and crawled into his bed. The redhead was exasperated. He slipped into the bed, too, staring at the back of Roxas' golden spikes.

"Are you going to kill someone?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Most likely." Axel sighed.

"Why do you do stuff like this?"

"I can't get out of it." Axel's voice was full of scorn. "Once you joined, the only way to get out is to get killed. Either you get killed by Moran like I've been avoiding to, or you get killed by Capone because he thinks you're betraying him. He could literally do anything. He made me burn a man alive once."

Roxas didn't say anything. Axel could feel the slight trembling in him. His heart was thumping in his chest and breaking his ribcage and screaming to get out. He wished he could at least hold Roxas for once in his life before he was gone.

Roxas' teary eyes snapped open when the arms wrapped around him. His trembling ceased and he tensed, feeling the nose that buried in the crook of his neck. Then came a small kiss on his shoulder. And then there was a drop of tear, followed by more kisses. Roxas turned and met green eyes. Just really, really, plainly green eyes. Axel chuckled and kissed Roxas' forehead gently. A thousand thoughts ran through the blond's head, and the end of the wet, cold road suddenly became clear to him. He clung onto the only warmth beside him, sinking into perpetuity.

.x.X. Step 6 .X.x.

Roxas woke up on Valentine's Day groggy and shaken up. He looked down at where Axel was and saw that the redhead was gone. A sickening disappointment sunk in his stomach. With a sigh he climbed out of bed to put on some clothes. His back hurt but he ignored the numbing soreness and got to work.

On the way he passed by some newspaper stall with an old man listening to the radio: _Good… Morning Springfielders! First thing up the news: earlier in the morning a seven-man massacre occurred in Chicago. Police are giving no information but witnesses are saying that they recognized those men as members of a gang. Neither Al Capone nor Bugs Moran have made any comment regarding the apparent gang shoot-out…_

Roxas dropped his briefcase and ran.

.x.X. Step 7 .X.x.

It had been two years since Roxas last saw Axel. The hard times had hit but Roxas was managing okay for himself. He was… _alone_, after all. He didn't have any mouths to feed. He kept all of Axel's things he got from the syndicate sub-headquarters. He had to find out the painful truth through the all unsent letters Axel wrote addressed to him during the three months they were together. Roxas even asked one of Axel's follow-ups why the redhead was so stupid and didn't just say his thoughts out loud but rather wrote them down and never showed them to him. The follow-up kid bawled out soon. Leaving him a new address, Roxas took all the stuff and moved away from Springfield.

Roxas was somewhat grateful for Axel's suggestion of being a hotel leech. He kept all his money with him and when the housing sellout came he had advantage over everyone else. But without Axel, he felt as if an old working stiff waiting to die any day soon. He'd seen so many people around him go down. So many times that he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue.

Approaching his town house he stopped over at the mailbox. The old rusted tin can squeaked as he pulled at the flap. Roxas reached inside and felt something unusual.

He pulled out a pistol, with a rose through the ring of the trigger. Immediately he pulled into a smile.

It was Axel's pistol.

"That's a keen gun you've got there." A smiling voice drew close. Roxas looked over and dropped his mouth.

"You must be the legendary beautiful Roxas. I'm sorry but I've come to tell you that Axel is dead." There was a playful pause. "He got shot."

"And who may you be then, if Axel is dead?" Roxas took the rose out of the trigger ring and smelled it, his eyes fluttering up at the man. The _stranger_ smirked and whispered into Roxas' ear, "I'm just nobody."

And that night, for the longest time with the greatest passion, Roxas clung onto the searing heat amidst the wintry coldness on a Valentine's Day.


	10. Lifeguard

**Lifeguard**

Disclaimer: Do not own KH or character rights.

Warning: AkuRoku, shonen-ai, boy-boy relationships below, implied AxelLarxene, violence.

Category: Romance/Angst

Summary: Axel was straight. He liked girls in bikinis at the pool. So when he almost drowned and was saved by some kid doing a mouth-to-mouth on him, he didn't exactly react in a way a smart guy would.

A/N: Happy AkuRoku Day! Now, enjoy!

* * *

They met in an accident. Quite literally. It was ironic; that very morning, Axel had just heard his younger sister bragging about her two male friends who finally admitted their feelings for each other and made out. Axel was disturbed, at the imagery, and at the fact that his sister Kairi was, by her own admission, a 'yaoi fangirl'. To him, it was never thought of in open. He never talked about it, but somewhere in the back of his mind, where the old beliefs and traditional values lurked, he despised homosexuality. Well, maybe not exactly despised; but he was certain that he wasn't gay. He liked women. Yeah.

So on a hot summer day, what can Axel, a healthy young man with normal guy hormones, do rather than to go to the pool and swim, not to mention to check out those girls in bikinis?

And there he was, sitting on the lounge chair next to the clear and wide pool. He was wearing shades because the sun was really bright, _of course_. From the door came a blonde girl with crystalline blue-green eyes. Her hair was slicked back and her face reminded Axel of the fairy goddesses that only existed in myths. _Summer is lovely_, smirked Axel as he took off his sunglasses and followed as the girl went into the pool, still chatting with her friends. The water was cold, and Axel never really liked water, but what the heck. It'll be great if he got a chance to talk to her. So he started swimming across the pool leisurely, thinking that she'll notice his 'skills'.

Skills he had, but not in swimming; in drowning. Without the least bit of a decent warm-up, his legs started hurting halfway across the pool. He tried treading the water, but he couldn't even move his legs. Just his luck.

He started panicking when nothing really worked. It wasn't just the simple matter of getting the girl or not anymore; it was more of staying alive and not drowning to his death. The water was rapidly running into his mouth, and he could barely float. Nobody seemed to notice his hardship; they probably all just thought he was practicing his treading. Poor Axel… he's going to die without anyone knowing. He opened his mouth, struggling for one more breath, just one more to yell for help, to call for anyone. But the water rolled over him, and he slowly sank, his arm disappearing as the water swallowed him.

He felt someone kissing his lips. He must've died. He must be in Heaven, and now the angels, the soul of that girl must be kissing him. Oh, the lips were so soft. But they left swiftly, and then returned again. It was almost like a process, leaving and returning. Then he felt something on his chest, a regular thumping, like his heart. The angels must be giving him his heart back. Yes, dear girl of unknown origins, he could feel his heart beating against the hard tiled floor.

Was Heaven made of hard tiled floors?

He cracked his eyes open and saw blond hair. Only they were not slicked back, but spiky and short. The lips left him again, and he saw huge cerulean eyes. He thought he was lucky to be kissed by another cute blonde with blue eyes… until…

He looked down and found that the person was wearing a wife-beater. On it there was a logo that said 'Twilight Town Public Swimming Pool Lifeguard'. That wasn't what disturbed Axel. What was distressing him, was that since the wife-beater was tight, it clearly showed that the person had a flat chest. Not like a girl's flat chest, but a _real_ flat chest. A flat chest that a guy has.

Receiving no response from Axel and not seeing his eyes thinly opened, the lifeguard went down for another attempt of mouth-to-mouth. Axel now fully widened his eyes, and his hand automatically shot up to slap across the guy's face.

"Ow!" The lifeguard yelped and cupped the injured cheek. He was only a boy.

"What the hell are you doing?" Axel sat up and moved a little away from the blond, his hand rubbing furiously at his lips as if they were contaminated.

"Uh, saving your life?" The boy frowned at Axel, mad at the redhead's rudeness.

"Oh, I thought…" Axel stuttered dumbly. "You were… kissing me…"

The people that had gathered to view the sudden upheaval all laughed. The lifeguard spat disdainfully and stood up, walking away. Then Axel felt bad; he _was_ really rude, after all.

He was just about to say thank you when the boy turned around sharply and yelled, "I don't have to be gay to save your life!"

* * *

Axel went back to the pool the next day. He wanted to apologize properly to that boy. So he walked in with a heavy face, his sandals shuffling loudly against the floor, and looked for the blond lifeguard. He was on one of the posts, sitting up there looking extremely bored.

"Hey." Axel stood right next to the tall chair and looked up. The boy looked down and narrowed his eyes a bit. Oh damn, he doesn't look pleased.

"What?" His voice had a small growl in it.

"Just wanted to drop by and…" Axel tried to play it cool; but the boy's eyes got to him. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I was… well, I didn't know what was going on."

"Sure seemed like so." The boy returned his eyes to the pool, not caring.

Axel couldn't talk back as if the cat got his tongue. How did his usual wittiness get wiped out so easily by this kid? For a good while he stood there, looking at the blond while the latter paid his dutiful attention on the pool.

"Do you have something against gay people?" The boy suddenly asked, his eyes unmoving.

"Er, well…" Axel scratched his head. "Not really. I mean, I don't have a problem with homos, as long as they don't come up and bug me..."

"So you don't care about them." The blond looked at Axel, his eyes knowing and slightly frustrated.

"Kind of, yeah." The redhead shrugged, growing uncomfortable with this conversation. Roxas didn't reply, but looked away. Something gnawed away at Axel's heart. "What, is something wrong with that?"

"Yes." He replied straightforwardly, so bluntly that Axel was a little shocked. The blond looked at Axel, and grinned. "That was harsh, wasn't it?"

Axel looked away. "A little, yeah."

"Well, that is how homophobic bastards make my friends feel." The blond looked up to the sky. "They say, 'I think… I'm in love with this guy.' And then their friends or even parents would look at them with disgust, and then they'll ask, 'What? Is something wrong with that?'" He looked into Axel's eyes. "And now you understand how harsh it is on them when their friends or parents said yes."

Axel looked away again. The boy saw his disoriented look and sighed. "Apologies accepted. You can go."

Axel gazed back on the boy, seemingly dejected. The only thing he could think of to say was, "I'm Axel."

The lifeguard blinked at him, and smiled. "I'm Roxas."

So that was his name. Roxas. Axel realized that he didn't know this boy's name until then. Something was interesting about him. Maybe it was… well, Axel would never admit that, because, after all, he wasn't gay.

* * *

Axel showed up again the very next day. He wanted to meet a certain someone. No, not Roxas. He sat on his usual lounge chair and pulled out a magazine from the stand, scanning his eyes occasionally to see if that girl would come here again. Meanwhile, no one there looked familiar to him. Not even Roxas; some other muscular dude was sitting up on there. Axel decided to wait.

As he waited, his mind drifted off to a good number of things. He wondered if the girl would ever be here again; then he briefly wondered why Roxas wasn't there; and wondered what he would say if he saw the girl again. He'll get her name, of course, then maybe her number, too.

He skimmed his eyes towards the door, but found no pretty blonde girl. When he was going to return to reading, his eyes caught a person he never thought would be here. Walking through the door was Kairi and two other boys that were holding hands. Axel made a face and realized it must be those two friends she bragged about the other day. He held up the magazine and hid behind it when Kairi and her friends – one a brunet and the other a silver-head – walked past in front of him.

_Great…_ Axel groaned mentally, _she's so gonna be in the way if that girl showed up again…_

Just when he thought that was all, another boy came in from the door. Axel was actually shocked this time. Roxas jogged past him, unnoticing, and called at Sora, the brunet. There was a grin on his face, and he wasn't wearing the lifeguard uniform. They were too far away for Axel to hear their conversations, but soon they went into the pool, the silver-head and Roxas seemingly starting a swimming race.

Axel watched intently, in his heart cheering Roxas on sub-consciously. So he was surprised when Sora popped up out of nowhere and pulled at Roxas' swim trunk, the blond's fast speed causing it to come right off his hips. Some girls in the pool squealed, and Roxas yelped, stopping abruptly, his face flushed red from embarrassment.

Axel was agape. He stared as Roxas bellowed Sora's name and chased him. Sora was no match to Roxas' fast swimming and was captured by Roxas' arms when the blond locked them around him from behind, trying to retrieve his swimming garment. After a while of struggling, Roxas finally got his trunks back, and hastily pulled them on. His eyes swept across the side of the pool, and Axel thought he saw him, immediately hiding back behind the magazine. The redhead stared at a random sentence on the editorial column, repeating it to himself over and over again, the sentence not at all registering in his mind. He was blinking hard, his heart jumping. Has Roxas looked away yet? He wondered.

He peeped up when he heard some laughter, and was relieved to find that Roxas didn't see or recognize him. _This isn't good…_ He thought, _I better get out of here before they see me._ So carefully finding an opportunity, he slipped right off the lounge chair and shuffled quickly towards the door, carelessly bumping into a girl on the way. He didn't even look before mumbling 'sorry' and hurrying away, the blonde girl not noticing her keychain dropping from her bag.

* * *

Axel went back to the pool the following day, wanting answers. Well, that would be a vehement way of describing it – he just had a lot of wonders and wanted to ask some questions. And he wanted to wait for that girl, of course. After all, she hasn't appeared yet, has she?

"Hey." He leaned on the foot of Roxas' chair, putting on a nonchalant look.

Roxas looked down, and recognized him immediately by that blob of red hair. "Yeah?"

"You weren't on duty yesterday."

"How'd you know?" Roxas couldn't resist the smirk on his face. "Have you been following me?"

Axel gulped and bit his lip; for the first time he was the sheepish one. "No. I just came and noticed, 's all."

"I don't think you came for the water, did you?" Roxas had to restrain from laughing.

Axel glared at the blond, then looked away. "No. I came to see if I could bump into someone."

"Who?" Roxas cocked his brows.

"A girl." Axel shrugged. "She's got a tight ass." He smirked vaguely to thin air.

It was Roxas' turn to gulp. "Oh."

"What 'bout you? You got a girl yourself?"

"No." Roxas smiled weakly and rubbed his arms, his voice a tad bit doleful.

"Oh…" Axel nodded lightly. "But I saw… you were with my sister yesterday."

"…Kairi?" Roxas widened his eyes. "She's your sister?"

"Yeah." Axel said, thinking up an excuse to disprove that he didn't say hello to them at the pool yesterday. "I uh… I saw you guys when she was going home."

"I see." Roxas nodded. "Oh, but I'm not like… dating her or anything…"

"Yeah I know." Axel waved it off and chuckled. "If she saw a guy she'd pair him up with another guy, actually."

"Yeah…" Roxas scratched his head. "She paired up my brother with his best friend."

"Oh… I think she told me about it."

"Sora and Riku? Yeah." Roxas sighed.

"Do you mind it?" Axel studied Roxas' face carefully. "Your brother and his friend doing that all…"

"Not as much as I'd have to accept it." The blond shrugged. "I mean, as long as they're happy…"

"I see… So how'd you know my sister?"

"We have some classes together at school." Roxas said, looking over the pool. "Just kinda started hanging out altogether." He saw a few ladies coming through the door. "So what's that girl like? The one you're waiting for…"

"Oh, she's like a nymph." Axel smirked. "Blonde hair, blue-green eyes and a goddamn good body."

Roxas rubbed his arms again and breathed deeply. "Nice." He muttered, though not wholeheartedly.

"What? You getting jealous?" The smirk on Axel grew wider.

"No." Roxas said with a nervous chuckle.

"Roxas, I'm here." A man called out from the other side of the chair, and Roxas smiled. Axel looked between them with perplexity, and felt a tiny bit uncomforted.

"Thanks." Roxas said as he climbed down from the chair and let the person take over.

"My shift's over." Roxas saw Axel's questioning eyes and explained.

"Oh." Axel nodded dumbly. "Do you want a lift?" For some reason he hoped Roxas would say yes.

"Nah." Roxas refused politely. "Sora will pick me up."

"Okay." Axel said and an awkward silence fell between them. Roxas blinked a few times and moved his legs. "I'll go now, bye."

Axel's eyes followed the blond, "Will I see you again?"

"Yeah, I work here on weekdays during summer." Roxas grinned. "You'll find me here."

Axel, feeling reassured, grinned back and nodded as he watched Roxas walked towards the door.

"Cutie-pie, ain't he?" The other lifeguard suddenly commented. Axel blinked and glared at him when he realized what the lifeguard meant. "I don't swing that way."

"Okay." The man shrugged, _you were clearly staring at his ass, Mister._

* * *

Axel, needless to say, went to the pool again the next day. He wanted to meet the girl, really, he did. Yeah. So he went there and conveniently sat down at the edge of the pool right under Roxas, dangling his legs in the water but not planning to jump in.

"Come here to wait for her again?" Roxas asked with boredom.

"Yeah." Axel shrugged. "Wonder when she'll show up."

Roxas gazed down at the redhead, and sighed. This idiot isn't going to get anywhere. He wondered what the girl would think if she knew Axel came everyday to wait for her. She'd probably be crept out. It would be kind of amusing to see what reaction she makes; but… ah well, he wouldn't want Axel to be sad.

"Is that her coming through the door?" Roxas asked, his eyes pointedly staring at the girl who seemed to be looking for something.

"Yeah." Axel sat up straight, "Think she's looking for something?"

"I picked this up yesterday morning." Roxas thought for a second, then hesitantly picked up something from the table on his left. A keychain dangled on his fingers. "Maybe she's looking for this?"

Axel stood up and Roxas gave him the small souvenir. The redhead studied it carefully, flipping it around back and forth. "Maybe." He remained standing there. Roxas looked at him, anticipating his next move.

"I guess I should uh… Go talk to her, huh?" Axel looked up. His legs didn't budge.

"Yeah…" Roxas nodded slightly; but Axel didn't move. He was still playing with the keychain. Roxas wondered what the redhead was thinking. "Axel?"

"Huh?" His head whipped up hastily, and his eyes were misty. "Oh, right. Um, yeah, thanks. I owe you one." He gestured to the keychain before smiling and turning to the girl. Roxas managed to smile back.

* * *

Axel had stopped going to the pool since then. He finally learned the girl's name, Larxene, and she seemed enthralled by Axel's personality. They consequently started dating, and Axel thought he was happy. He no longer minded Kairi's meaningless chat about her guy friends and how some of them are hooking up with each other, because he didn't really care anyways. Except for Roxas. Something was interesting about him; something was different.

And Kairi had noticed that, because on a Wednesday, she purposely interrupted Axel precisely when he was on the phone with Larxene, just to tell him that the coming Friday was Roxas' 21st birthday party. His heart first jumped, and then he growled, throwing a pillow at the maroon-haired girl.

He went to the party anyway; it was held in a nightclub (which Axel never knew it existed in Twilight Town). He didn't want to bring Larxene with him, nor even bother to tell her whose party exactly he was going to. It was until he was walking up the steps that led to the club that he realized he didn't bring anything. Dammit, it'd be rude to just walk in without bringing anything…

"Axel?" Roxas' voice was suddenly in front of him, and he looked up with wide eyes. It's been a while since he had last seen the blond.

"Hi." Axel shrugged with a sheepish smile. "Kairi told me. Happy Birthday."

"Thanks." Roxas' lips curved into a delicate smile. "Come on." He led the redhead inside; Axel had to duck from the dancing and wriggling ladies.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Roxas asked, sipping from his own bottle.

"Uh… sure." Axel agreed, allowing Roxas to order something for him.

The party had been going well for a while. Bottles and glasses of drinks were gulped down without hesitation; and laughter never died in the room. The DJ gladly served his customers according to their requests, playing various songs of themes as they wished. Axel felt a little old here, for most of these people were Roxas' friends and couldn't have been much older than him; but as long as Roxas was there, he didn't feel so awkward. They actually got along, when they played party games like cards or truth-or-dares (a little childish, but yes).

Kairi went up to the DJ with a tell-tale smile, and whispered something into his ear. The pulsing music in the room suddenly changed into a softer tune, and the previously freak-dancing youngsters slowed down to mere swaying. The maroon-haired girl skipped back to her seat on the sofa and nudged her brother.

"Axel, won't you ask Roxy to dance with you?" A mischievous grin accompanied the glint in her eyes. The redhead groaned quietly, and Roxas frowned at his nickname, but was anticipating an answer from Axel nonetheless. Axel glared at Kairi threateningly.

"Kairi, do you want to die?" He mumbled through gritted teeth, his breath filled with the smell of alcohol.

"Oh, don't talk like that." She merely stared back. "You're hurting Roxas' feelings."

Axel swung his head around to the blond, and found Roxas aimlessly staring at the label on his beer bottle. He looked up when he felt Axel's eyes, and smiled with sadness in his eyes. Axel breathed in, and smiled back, holding out a hand. Roxas first stared back with confusion, and then gently took the redhead's hand. Axel had forgotten about Kairi.

They swayed softly in circles on the dance floor, accompanied by a crowd of people. Axel never knew Roxas had this many friends. In fact, he didn't know a lot about Roxas, and it unnerved him. Just as it unnerved him to hold the blond this close, his hands on his waist, and Roxas' face on his shoulder. The silence was uncomfortable for him, and he sought for words to speak, but his throat was dry.

"How has it been with her…?" Roxas first spoke, his voice no louder than a whisper.

"Um… Great." Axel shrugged. His feet were getting heavier, and he leaned more on the short blond. "We uh…" He lost his train of thought.

"What do you guys do?" Roxas closed his eyes; he didn't want to cry in front of Axel.

"We… I don't remember…" Now his eyelids were getting heavier, but he struggled to keep them open. "Nothing in particular…"

"That sounds boring." Roxas said with a chuckle.

"It is…" Axel dozed off. His heart was beating loudly in his ears; did he have that many bottles? "I'm sorry… I… I can't really stand." He pulled away from Roxas and stumbled for the sofa. Everything was blurry, and he could faintly hear Roxas calling his name. Then he felt himself falling into the sofa, pulling Roxas with him in a tangle of limbs.

"Axel, are you okay?" Roxas' lightly blushed face was blurry, but he wanted to touch it. For what reason, he didn't know. _It's too blurry_, his mind told him, _get closer_. He held out his hands at Roxas' neck. _Get closer, I can't see._ Those lips looked soft. They were, he remembered; they were soft like an angel's. _Get closer_.

* * *

Axel woke up with a headache. It sheared into his head and left aching scars. Where was he? He scanned the room; he had never been here before. How did he get here? What the hell happened last nigh-

He breathed shakily. Roxas' face was less than an inch from his. Did he drown again, and Roxas was saving him? No, Roxas was asleep. Was Roxas aware that they could've potentially been kidnapped and locked in an unfamiliar room? Probably not. But were they kidnapped? Probably not. Axel tensed; what is this place? He looked again, and found a chair nearby with a pair of jeans hung over it, the belt still looped in but the buttons were undone. Wait – that's his jeans!

Then he realized, he was lying on something soft, and clearly… naked. He turned back sharply to Roxas, then with a single finger lifted up the sheets, and peeped.

_Fuck_.

He put a hand on his forehead, and moved it down to cover his mouth. He couldn't remember a thing. Where this place is, how he got here, and what he did. What _have_ he done, really?

Axel decided that he didn't want to know. His heart was jumping again, so fast that it was unhealthy. He swallowed thickly, and tried to clear his head through the pounding pain. He needed to get out of there. This wasn't supposed to happen; how did he let it get to him? He needed to go. So he sat up as silently and motionlessly as he could, and slipped off from the bed. As he turned the door knob, his conscience told him solemnly that he was not to see Roxas ever again, and his heart ached at that.

* * *

It was harder to face Larxene, and the situation worsened day by day. When he could no longer bear to blame himself, he started blaming it on Roxas. He told himself it was all because Roxas had to barge into his life and make himself known, and steal his heart and ruin his mind and… goddamnit.

It was even harder for the other side; for Roxas to wake up finding Axel's side of the bed empty. For him to call the redhead and get hung up on. For him to hear from Kairi about her brother and Larxene, and to endure the clenching of his heart. So consequently he hung out with Kairi less and less, and they both heard of each other less and less. But Roxas never ceased to miss the redhead.

* * *

"Axel. Axel!" Larxene shook her boyfriend. "Are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her. "Yeah… What?"

"I was saying," She rolled her eyes. "We should go to the pool today. It's so hot."

"The pool?" Axel's voice cracked at the memory. "Can't we go to the beach?"

"There's no beach around here!" She frowned at him as if he was a madman.

"Oh… right." He sighed. She didn't seem like she was going to let any room for bargain. And he was right at that.

Axel tried to be subtle when they went through the door. But no one could mistaken him with that hair color, especially when you are sitting on top of the lifeguard chair which is designed to allow you to see everyone in the pool area clearly in one glance. Roxas gulped, and looked away to another side of the pool. He wished his shift was over by now. With Larxene there, he wanted to hide away. And when they were in the water, the blonde girl hooping her arms around Axel's neck, Roxas pressed at his eyes with one hand, the other pulling out his radio transceiver.

"R-Roxas here. Can someone take my spot for a moment? I need to go to the restroom. Over." His voice quivered.

"Wakka here. I'm coming. Over." A friendly voice replied, and soon Wakka came to help Roxas as the blond left swiftly for the men's room.

He stared at himself for a good while in the bathroom. The tears were barely contained, and as he started washing his hands, a couple's chuckling was heard outside, and the most unwanted person came in.

Fate just had to be so harsh on them. The smile on Axel's face disappeared, and he turned to one of the urinals just to avoid looking at Roxas. It was both a good and bad decision, because for good, he didn't have to see Roxas' tears, and for bad, he didn't see Roxas' tears. But that soon ended when he turned to wash his hands. When he turned off the faucet, he didn't go, and Roxas didn't stop crying. It was all silent.

And then in a flash of motion, he was pushed to the wall, and a fist landed firmly on his jaw. He grunted, and grabbed Roxas by the shoulder to throw him against the opposite wall. Roxas growled and lunged towards him, and Axel felt three hard blows to his stomach. For the short man that he was, Roxas had incredible strength. Axel locked Roxas' neck with his arm, the blond squirmed, and they stumbled into a stall. Roxas' eyes looked into Axel's for a second when he was pushed onto the toilet seat, and he slapped the cheek that wasn't hurt by his first punch. Axel groaned and grasped the blond's wrist, finally pinning him against the door and their actions stopped.

They were both panting heavily, Axel's forehead resting on Roxas'. Fervor was in both of their eyes. A single line of blood was leaking from a corner of Axel's lips. Axel started frowning and he knew he couldn't resist it.

Their lips meshed in a hungry kiss. Roxas could taste Axel's blood, and his heart cringed with guilt. To apologize, he pulled Axel closer and nibbled away the blood on his chin, then moved his lips to Axel's earlobe. The redhead sighed, his hands moving up to weave into Roxas' spiky hair.

Axel's hands were halfway up Roxas' shirt when the blond held them and pushed them away. "Wait, Axel… We can't do this…"

"Yes we can…" The redhead was unwilling to break apart, "I don't care anymore. I want this, Roxas. I lo-"

"But I can't!" Roxas repeated a little louder, pushing Axel away for real. "She's outside, isn't she?"

Axel blinked and his shoulders slumped. A silence was to fall between them, and Roxas exhaled, turning away to leave the washroom. Larxene was waiting outside, and he avoided her curious eyes.

* * *

Axel knew it was only a matter of time before he breaks up with Larxene. And the time came when one day, he glanced at her eyes and for that flash of a moment thought she was Roxas.

It started with her asking if he was okay, for he was silent the entire night at the restaurant. Then with both shame and pride he confessed. She screamed and he received a rough slap. He apologized for once, because it was his fault to bring her into this after he had fallen in love with Roxas. And he apologized again for hurting her like this. But he wouldn't apologize for anything else, because he felt that he did nothing else wrong. She screamed at him again, and they parted ways on the street.

* * *

Axel went to the pool the next day and sat below Roxas like he usually did. The blond shifted uneasily in his chair, avoiding to look into Axel's eyes at all cost.

"You didn't come here for the water, did you?" He asked, squinting his eyes against the bright sky.

"No." Axel shook his head plainly as he watched the waving water splash against his feet. "I just wanted to see you."

"Why do you have to do this?" Roxas looked like he hadn't had any sleep. And he was thinner than before. "Why do you have to make it so hard for us? For me, at least?"

Axel looked up and frowned. He thought he was the only one that had it hard; but now he saw what he had done. Their talk was briefly interrupted by Roxas' shift ending and Wakka taking over for him. Roxas descended from the chair and wanted to just walk away; but Axel tugged at his wrist.

"If you aren't gay, then why can't you just leave me alone?" Roxas pulled away. "You keep fucking my head up…"

Axel gulped with a frown on his face. Roxas looked terribly perfect. "What is it?" Axel asked.

"The truth is," Roxas' eyes welled up with tears, "Sometimes I miss you so much that I'd rather just die than to not be with you."

Axel's heart jumped, and he moved forward to embrace the trembling blond. Roxas clawed at his arms, dragging his nails and leaving marks; his legs were almost collapsing.

"You don't have to anymore…" Axel hugged him tighter, "I love you. I just want to be with you."

"But we can't…"

"I say we can." Axel's voice was a little muffled. "I would be with no one else."

"What about Larxene?" Roxas pulled away slightly and stared into Axel's eyes with his watery ones.

"Can't you see the mark she left here?" Axel asked with a bitter chuckle and pointed at his cheek that was attacked by Larxene's palm the other day.

"Jerk." Roxas growled but laughed nonetheless.

* * *

Now Axel went to the pool everyday, not to check out girls, but to pick Roxas up when his shift was finished. They moved to a place to live with each other, mainly because Axel totally didn't mind Kairi's fangirl gossips and instead Roxas was the one that didn't want Axel to hear so much. Axel still didn't like water, but was more comfortable with getting into the backyard pool when Roxas was swimming naked in it.

Then Axel discovered he was truly happy. He was in love with Roxas, and the blond was definitely worthy to be gay for. After all, he doesn't have to be straight to love someone.


	11. Memories of Winter

**Memories of Winter**

Disclaimer: I don't own KH.

Warning: Gay love, AkuRoku below.

Summary: _Were every storm so spice/The value could not be/We buy with contrast - Pang is good/As near as memory - -Emily Dickinson_

A/N: Maybe a little too short and dark for Christmas, but w/e... Slow reading speed is recommended - this is a postmodernist fragmented piece.

* * *

He stopped his hands. The water was running cold in the bubbles. Outside there was snow everywhere. The kitchen was bright with the December sun. Something felt missing. He couldn't quite figure out what.

Arms snaked up around his torso. He jumped. What is it this time? Another one of the monsters from his nightmares? Will they creep up on him, and drag him to oblivion?

"'Morning, Sunshine." Someone said. He relaxed. It was just Axel. They kissed chastely, and Axel proceeded to the dining table, flipping today's newspaper open. He better hurry up with the dishes and go make breakfast. Why hurry? It's Sunday. They'd have the whole day to themselves. Don't rush, Roxas. Rushing makes your life end faster. That's what they say. Axel thinks so, too, doesn't he?

He looked over to Axel. The newspaper was folded and put away. There was a serenity in those fervently green eyes that pacified him. He would go make breakfast, and then they would spend the rest of the day in each other's company. Maybe even go out and enjoy the nice dry day.

* * *

Axel tensed. That wasn't a smart move he made. Another day, another story. No, keep the stories away from Roxas. Wouldn't want to start it again, would he? Fold the stories away, they need to be gone. _Don't let your guards down_. Tough battle, tough day.

There was snow outside. He didn't like the snow; but Roxas loved it. They would probably spend the afternoon outside throwing snowballs at each other. He always gives Roxas what he wants. He gotta look out for the both of them. Don't repeat that mistake he made then. That was another foolish move. _But who was to blame? It happened spontaneously._ No, no. Things build up. Remember the saying: even dusts can build up mountains.

* * *

Sometimes Roxas felt lost. Like he could be playing snowball fight with Axel one moment, and then the next moment he would be all alone. Cold in the blank white world. Alone; no Axel. Just himself and a stranger. And then a fear would bubble up his heart, as if he forgot something important. Where was he? What was he doing? Where should he go? What's next?

"Roxas, Roxas!" Someone said. And then Axel and the ocean and the sky and everything came back. "Are you okay, baby?"

Axel's hand was warm. The fear subsided and he needed to hug Axel. This was as real as it could get.

* * *

Every time he saw Roxas smile, his heart throbs. _Oh goodness please make this last forever._ Roxas was in particularly good condition today. In fact, Roxas was able to get a snowball flying into his ass. That means he's been eating. Well, of course he's been eating. They had breakfast together. Eating good, fasting bad, like the doctor said.

But it always won't be long before those blue eyes dim to an inattentive gray. No, come on. Come back. Fear stirs in Axel's heart. Gray can't recognize him. Can't lose him now, not again.

"Roxas, Roxas!" He ran up to Roxas. Turn blue. "Are you okay, baby?"

Roxas hugged him. This wasn't something he expected. _Don't get your hopes up now_. It would be a long way to recovery. He knew it better than anyone else. That day wouldn't come until they both take away what shouldn't be there.

But what happens if you take too much?

* * *

He felt uncomfortable. She was staring at him with such eyes.

"Are you okay, Roxas?"

Why is everyone asking him that? Does he look sick? Certainly he couldn't be. Otherwise Axel would tell him.

"Yes, mother." He said. "I'm fine."

Her eyes softened. It reminded him of fifth grade, when he flunked a test. He was frightened then, as he shamefully told her his grade. Her eyes looked just the same: patronizing, protective. Even if he's an adult now. Parents never acknowledge that. Generation to generation; children will remain children in the eyes of the parent.

"Would you like some fruit?"

"Sure." _Why not?_ He walked to the TV room. There was that feeling again. He forgot something. What? _Never mind it's not important if I can't remember it._

The television mumbled: " 'And he said, he said, "Jonathan, do you want to redeem your sins? Do you love God?" And I said, "Yes, Father, I do." Then he tells me to take off my clothes, then he, um…' 'So you were unaware that he was sexually abusing you?' 'I… Kind of. In the back of my mind I knew something was wrong. That's why I, you know, tried to kill myself…' "

Sexually abusing. Sexually abusing. _"A shocking rape case last night: a young man on his way home from college was attacked by another man and was apparently raped. Police said that the assaulter may have known the victim, and attacked him because of the victim's sexuality. The County Assistant Chief of Police advises that people of all genders should avoid going outdoor at night…"_ Rape. Rape. Rape. Rape. Raperaperaperaperaperape. Pain. Stop it. No. _"You like this don't you you little fucker huh faggot cocksucker how does my cock feel in your ass?" _No, no, no, no. Stop, it hurts. Somebody please help me. I can't breathe. Let me go. Let me go. Why who what when how. Why? Why? Why? Dirty. Filthy. Disgusting. _You're disgusting._

"Roxas? Roxas? Roxas! Roxas!"

* * *

"Axel." Roxas' voice was sweet. He has to be one of the luckiest men alive.

"Hm?"

"I'm scared."

"About what?" He propped his head onto his hand.

"Forgetting." Roxas said. "Sometimes I feel like I forget things. Really important things. Sometimes I feel like I even forget you."

He frowned. This isn't good. How should he deal with this? Can't lead him back to that yet. Roxas isn't ready for it.

"I'll make you remember me." He said. "I promise."

"Really, really promise?"

He smiled. _The pendant._ _Give him the pendant._ Roxas' blue eyes glittered at the necklace. He put it around his neck. "There; now you're mine."

And Roxas smiled. They kissed, and fell asleep in each other's arms. It hasn't been that way for a while.

* * *

Partly it was his fault. He'd figured that before passing out. Always too damn happy, too damn in love, too damn blissful in front of everyone. He should've known. Gay couples weren't exactly glorious. It's dangerous out there. You could get mugged. You could get attacked. People don't like seeing you together like that. _It's unsightly._ Obviously he didn't think so. Obviously he underestimated the anger of the people.

But how? How could something like Axel, something so _beautiful_, be unsightly? He refused to believe it. Was there no room in the world for something that beautiful? _Of course not._ All the room is already filled up with ugliness. Beauty is a sin here. Beauty is purged here. Don't come near us. You're too beautiful. _We're just too ugly._ Axel reminds them of how ugly they are.

Laughter. A smile. He was laughing. He was happy, damn it. He has Axel. He was happy. _You have nothing, loser._ _I have Axel. I have the most beautiful thing in the world. And you have nothing!_ He won.

* * *

See. _Told you to keep the stories away from him._ He'd tried so hard. He'd done everything he could. _Not everything._ His resolve was thinning; he could feel it. Roxas. Please, don't do this. Don't make it harder. They've worked so hard to get to where they are now. They can't go back. Rewinding would ruin everything. Rewinding would tear them apart.

A nurse came in and asked for someone. Someone to do the procedures. Roxas' mother followed the nurse out the room. He turned back to Roxas. So the anxiety had exploded. What now? Where to go, what to do? Say something, Roxas. Don't sleep.

"Roxas…" He said. Roxas had thinned so much. "Please… don't do this to me. I promise I'll protect you. I promise, so… Hey, Roxas. I love you. Did you know that? I love you. I love you to my death. So, please…"

He kissed Roxas' hand. There was a slight warmth. He has to still be there, somewhere.

* * *

He was alone in the snow that day. Flunked another test in calculus. _Oh come on Roxas don't be a crybaby you're such a failure get over it and grow up_. Too fucking bad. Life's not one straight line you can't just know one thing and move on with it. No you have to know everything and be perfect at everything thing so if you can't do that too fucking bad.

A stranger came around asking if he was okay. No he's not. _Can't you tell?_ But on the lips he'd say Sure I'm fine. Why did he care anyway why would anyone fucking care anyway? The stranger said, "Your eyes look tired."

No shit he was tired. _How would you feel if you were living in misery for your whole life, your entire existence? _Be nice now, don't snap. Control. Come on you can do it.

"I just… didn't have a very good day." He said.

"Want to tell me about it?" The stranger said. _Who are you?_ People don't go around poking into other people's business. They don't ask you to tell them about your bad day. They don't _want_ to hear about your bad day. They're too busy. Always too busy. Too busy with themselves.

Then he found himself pouring out all his troubles to the stranger. He didn't laugh or anything. He just listened intently. Slow blizzards brushed against his cheeks.

"By the way." He said. "I still don't know who you are."

"Name's Axel." The stranger said.

* * *

How it all started – ironically, was when they were debating love itself. It was because another douche was hitting on a girl he just met, and so he brought up the topic of love at first sight. Roxas said he didn't believe in it. He asked why. And that's how it all started.

"You can't just fall in love with someone you don't even know!" Roxas said. "It's infatuation, at the very best. For all you know, that person can be the shallowest girl you've ever seen in life."

"Yeah but that won't be a problem if the man can't even realize that the girl was shallow." He said. "If he was just too fed up with her looks, he wouldn't think twice on her personality."

"Well then that's not love." Roxas said. "Love isn't something you can see. At least I think so. Love is something for you to feel."

"I never knew you were such a romanticist." He said. "…Then again, you were almost crying the first day we met."

"Shut up." Roxas said, embarrassed. He laughed, and then, as if he had done it a million times before, ruffled Roxas' hair affectionately, and kissed his forehead. The impact of shock came a while afterwards. _What'd you just do? _The blues were ice clear. Fucked up big time. Damn.

"Sorry."

"It's okay…" Roxas said. Skin flushing up. How to get out now? You're doing it wrong. Can't possibly mean that. No, no can't possibly be that.

Roxas was the first to push him to the wall. A giant vortex spinning down his head. Can't think straight can't see straight can't even hear straight. Just heat. Go on, move. This feels right this feels just perfect. It's like they've done it before. They haven't. But it feels like it. How long has it been? _Oh goodness let's go again_. Remembering. They're doing all the remembering.

* * *

_There was something forgotten. What, Roxas? What have you forgotten again? Damn it what's wrong with your memory? I don't know! Come on let's try it. Forgot something. Forgotten memories. Forgotten victory, forgotten pain._

_An altar before him. Chest up atop it. It looked like a chest from where he stood, at least. He walks up to it. It gets longer. Longer. Longer. Now it's a coffin. Big and heavy. Who's inside? Wait no don't open it I don't want to know don't want to see it's too scary too frightening. Hands choke him down onto his knees. No, I don't want to die. Get the key open the coffin jump inside whatever who cares who's inside just get away now! He opened the damn thing. Hands are gone but he is just as terrified. Bruises on the body, the legs, scratches leave raw marks, broken and bare, the hands were bruised too the knuckles scraped, the wrists purple. He worked his eyes up to the face. It is himself. The face swells too with red. The eyes are unclosed they are not dead. He is not dead. Fragile icy blue but they are crying. "Can you hear me? Hey! Wake up!" He shakes the body. No response but a quiet tinkling. He looks down to the hands. They are holding a pendant. A quiet laugh. He looks back up. The face is now smiling. The eyes are tearing but he's smiling. Whispering something. What? Get closer Roxas, I can't hear you._

"…_I… won."_

* * *

He woke up on the ground. His head hurts and his arms hurt. He must've fallen from the chair. Not a good idea to sleep in a chair. You fall from it and you make noises and the nurses get mad at you. Don't do it next time. _Let's hope there __**won't**__ be a next time._ He didn't wake Roxas up. Still sleeping, peaceful.

He probably should get some coffee. Been running around too much the whole day. Thought maybe for once he could let Roxas have his own day. Get back to his mother and have a nice afternoon talk with her. He feels selfish. He's been keeping Roxas ever since and she rarely had the chance to see her own son. It wasn't right and Roxas probably wanted to spend some time with her anyway. Thought they could enjoy themselves. Too careless. Just didn't think of the possible stimuli.

Time was sucked out of him. Under the gray hospital lights he aged several decades. It had begun snowing again outside.

A jingle of wheels. He lazily turned around. Shock filled him.

"Roxas…" He said. Roxas was holding the IV stand next to him, leaning on the doorframe for support. "What are you doing up?"

"I wondered where you went…" Roxas said. He stood and ushered Roxas back into the room, coffee forgotten on the table.

"Go back to bed. You need some rest." He said.

"I've been resting the whole day." Roxas resisted. His hand clawed at the doorframe. "I've been resting the whole _damn_ months!"

"Hey, hey." He said, hand on Roxas' chin. "Calm down." He looked into the eyes. Clear bright blue. Strong and plain powerful. No way. Hasn't seen those in a while. No way. He's gotta be dreaming. Gotta be still in the chair. Still on the ground. Too good even for a dream.

"Roxas?"

"I _remember_, damn it!" Roxas said. "I remember everything."

Oh no. Is that a bad sign? He can't tell anymore. It's been too long. Roxas walked around him and sat. He sat back down next to Roxas. Be careful now. Be very gentle, very delicate.

"I was there." Roxas said. "I was there all along and I was watching you suffer and _oh God… _What have I _done_ to you?"

He pulled Roxas in and cooed. Forget about how much it burned his heart right now. How could Roxas think it was his fault? The whole thing was _wrong_ – twisted, wicked. Turned up from the inside out.

"Listen." He said. "You didn't do _anything _to me."

"But I _forgot_!" Roxas cried. His tears dropped like ices. "I forgot about all of it! I didn't even give you a chance to talk about it. I didn't even let you in. You weren't… You weren't even…"

"Go ahead." He said, knowing the answer. "Go ahead and tell me. What did you do that was so bad?"

"…" Roxas choked in realization, and sobbed again. "… I lived."

That's right. Roxas lived. Roxas lived on for him. That's the terrible thing he did.

His arms were wrapped tightly around Roxas. "Will you be able to live with that, if I told you meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life?"

Friction against his shoulder. He couldn't see it but he could feel it; Roxas nodded.

So everything ended. All the anxiety and the forgetting and the rewinding. All of that have stopped. _So what happens now?_ Who knows. But he was there, with Roxas, under the blinking light of the hospital, layers of snow outside, peace in mind.

* * *

A/N: Merry Christmas.


End file.
